Skipping Stones at Besor

Life Goals

2012-01-25T14:43:00.004-05:00

What is your goal in life? If you had a mission statement that guided your life, what would it be?

Everybody has some sort of purpose in their life. They might not be able to name it but when you take a closer look at their actions, it comes out. Some people live their life for an achievement. Others just want to have fun. Some try to do the minimum to get by while others do more but only look after their own interests. Everyone has some aim in their life that guides them, whether they know it or not.

Do you know what your goal is in life? Could you name that underlying purpose that guides all that you do? Have you ever taken the time to sit down and really think about why you do what you do?

More importantly, how does your goal align with what the Bible teaches? Is your goal in life to glorify God by enjoying Him forever (see last week’s blog post)?

I have personally wrestled with these questions over the last few years. I have spent a lot of time examining my life to try to determine what my goal is. I have looked at my actions and tried to figure out if they are aligned with what I think my goal is.

My goal is to worship God by being a disciple who makes disciples. Another way I put that is that I want to know Jesus and be like Jesus.

I am always trying to redefine my life around that. I set goals that will help me to live more like this in my life. I look ahead and try to find ways I can be more like Jesus. I am pushing myself to know Him more. I try to structure my life to accomplish this goal that I believe Jesus wants me to follow, because that’s what He wants for me as well.

Photo by Charlie Bird.

Resolutions

2012-01-18T09:21:00.002-05:00

So, how are those resolutions going? Are you being good about what you eat? Are you continuing to work out? Are you finding it hard to make the changes you promised to make? Don’t those cupcakes look really good.

The other day someone asked me to help him with his resolutions. He wanted to know if I thought the resolutions he made were the right ones. I thought about what he asked and I realized that I had further questions. The questions were as follows:

· What does the Bible say is the goal of every human being?

· What is your personal goal?

· What is it that drives you towards that goal?

· How do the answers to the first three questions help me determine what my resolutions should be?

I ask these questions because I believe we often set New Year’s resolutions for the wrong reasons. Sometimes they don’t align with what our goal is in life. Other times they lead us to go after the wrong things in life. Even worse than that, sometimes our resolutions go against what God has designed us to do. It stands to reason that if we can line up our goal with what God’s goal is then everything should work easier.

What is God’s goal for our life anyways? For what purpose did He create us? On this note, almost everyone who takes the Bible as their guide agree. The highest goal of our life is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. We were made to worship Him. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:31 that we are to worship Him in everything we do and at all times. The Psalmist Asaph should speak for all of us when he says that there is nothing on earth he desires more than God (Psalm 73:25).

So, we are to glorify God and enjoy Him. Actually, I think we can go a step further. John Piper, following the lead of Jonathan Edwards, has written that the way we glorify God most is by enjoying Him. In other words, we worship God the most when we find all of our joy and contentment in God. We honor Him immensely when we say we want to be with Him above everything else. We magnify His great name when we reveal to others that He is whom we are living for.

Does your New Year’s resolution say that? Is your life geared around the biblical goal of glorifying God by enjoying Him forever? Is it your personal mission to reflect this truth in all of your life?

My sense is, if we align our goals and our resolutions around God’s design for us, then we will accomplish them. We won’t be working against the current of how God designed us. And, more importantly, if we do set goals that go along with His plan, then the Holy Spirit will empower us to do what God has created us to do.

Is There Anything too Difficult for the Lord?

2011-12-21T13:53:00.002-05:00

Some things just seem too good to be true. Do you ever think that? I know I do, and I believe the people of God during Zechariah’s ministry thought the same as well.

During that time, the majority of the people were in Exile in Babylon. Jerusalem was abandoned. The people were depressed and seemed without hope. They said to one another, “Don’t raise your hopes. God has punished us for good. Don’t dream anymore, it’s over.”

But God was not done yet.

God told them that Jerusalem would again be filled with people of all ages. There would be children running in the streets. Joy and hope would return.

But the Israelites couldn’t believe it. “It’s impossible. It seems to good to be true.”

I love God’s response. He says in Zechariah 8:6, “All this may seem impossible to you now, a small and discouraged people. But do you think this is impossible for me, The Lord Almighty?” He asks the same question in other places, “Is there anything too difficult for me?”

I read this passage this morning and God nudged me. Actually, He almost pushed me off the chair. God’s question was loud and clear. Deryk, what are you scared to ask Me about? What is on My heart, I will accomplish. Nothing can get in My way. If I can make the whole universe out of nothing, ‘Do you think this is going to be too hard for Me?’

Further in Zechariah 8, God shares part of the way He is going to accomplish His plans. He tells them that people from all nations will travel to Jerusalem. They will say to one another, “Let us go to Jerusalem to ask the Lord to bless us and to seek the Lord Almighty” (Zech. 8:21). They will grab the clothing of the Jew and say, “Please let us walk with you, for we have heard that God is with you” (Zech. 8:23).

I read those words and I thought of our church and other churches in the area. I got excited about the possibility of people traveling from all over so that they could be blessed from the Lord because they heard of God’s work among us. But then, I caught myself questioning it. That’s not what will happen here.

Deryk, is there anything too difficult for Me? What is on my heart I will do.

What’s on the Lord’s heart that you are scared about? What are you questioning and refraining from asking because you think it’s too outrageous? It seems to good to be true.

Is there anything too difficult for Me?

Photo by Marco Bellucci

Fasting

2011-12-15T13:32:00.003-05:00

In a season filled with delicious cookies, why would someone ever fast?

At its heart, fasting is the physical prayer of asking for more of God and His presence in my life and the world around me. Sometimes it is done because the zeal and hunger for God is so strong that one would rather spend time with God than with food. At other times it is done when one recognizes that their spiritual appetite for God is in danger because it is so weak.

Fasting forces us to ask a question, “Do I really hunger for God? Do I want Him in my life more than anything else? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to glorify Him?” I love how John Piper puts it in his book A Hunger for God, “It is the physical exclamation point at the end of the sentence: ‘This much, O God, I long for you and for the manifestation of your glory in the world!’”

I started my fast on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I have eaten no foods and have drunk few liquids. I feel fine. I’m not hungry. I admit, I look at cookies longingly, but otherwise I feel great.

I decided to fast for a few reasons. First and foremost, I am fasting for my own spiritual life. I want more of God in my life. I need more of God in my life. I looked at my own spiritual life and I was not satisfied. I sensed Him calling me to go deeper and frankly, I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to go deeper with God and glorify Him.

I have also sensed a great need to pray for our church. I believe God is calling us to go deeper and I wanted to make sure that I was going to give my all towards praying for God to work. I want God to work in and through our church to spread His Kingdom in this area. In short, I want revival, and I am willing to do whatever God asks to bring it about.

Where are you in your relationship with God? Do you want more of Him? Are you satisfied with your spiritual life? Do you believe like me that God is calling our church deeper? Do you want revival?

If you do, I plead with you, go deeper with God. Do all that you can to go after Him, even if it means fasting. Try it for a day or a few days and spend more time in prayer. Make the exclamation point and say “This much I want you, God!”

Just think, God could be bringing about this longing in all of us to do something greater than we could ever imagine. Could it be that He yearns to bring revival in this area? If that’s the truth, wouldn’t you be willing to do whatever it takes to bring it about?

Photo by C. Jill Reed

The Stream

2011-12-08T12:15:00.003-05:00

On Monday morning, I took some time to be away and be alone with God. These are always special times for me as I listen to what God is doing in my life and around me. It also affords me the opportunity to once again offer myself to God and pledge to grow in my relationship with Him moving forward.

I always know that God is going to reveal something about my life or what is going on around me. He didn't disappoint this time either.

I walked out into the woods by a stream. I love being by streams. I love listening to the water trickle. I enjoy watching the water move. I always seem to come alive when I am by a stream.

When I am by streams, I am usually reminded of Jesus’ words in John 7:37-38, "If anyone thirst, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'" He tells us afterwards that the living water is the Holy Spirit.

Immediately I began to pray these words again, asking that God would give me a deeper thirst for Him. I begged for God to give me more of His Holy Spirit so that I could be more like Jesus and worship Him more in all my life.

It was then that I noticed that the stream was blocked in many places by debris and leaves. The stream moved but it wasn't flowing well.

These are life-giving moments for me. They are times when I come alive as I play like a little kid. I knelt by the stream and I cleared the debris. I didn’t care that I got wet and dirty, I was alive and at work and play with God. I then watched with joy and satisfaction as the water begin to flow faster, at first murky but then clear.

As I watched the stream flow, God began to speak to me more. He prompted me to ask a question, “Is there debris in my life that is blocking the life-giving waters of the Holy Spirit?”

After some reflection, I noticed that the blockages came from two sources. Some of the blockages were of my own doing and some were done to me. I sat on a rock and processed with God, yearning for Him to do a deep cleaning work in me so that I could have more of Him.

I was about to get up when God nudged me as He went deeper with another question. “Deryk, are there blockages in your life that are hindering my life-giving Spirit from flowing through you to others?”

This one hit me like a dagger. I wished He hadn’t asked me that question. The first one was hard enough. I began to think of my family, neighbors and my church family. As God gently revealed the blockages, I mourned the fact that there were things in my life that made it hard for God to work through me to others.

But God didn’t want me to stop there. He asked me another question, “Are there leaves and debris in our church community that God wants us to remove so that His life-giving water can flow to us and through us to others?”

I am still working on that one.

The Drummer Boy

2011-11-30T11:57:00.002-05:00

Sam and I were driving to school on Monday morning when he asked me if we could listen to Christmas music. I put on a song that he hadn’t heard before, but I knew it was one he would like, The Drummer Boy.

Come they told me Pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, Pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring Pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King Pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum
So to honor Him Pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.

I listened to the song and first thought of Sam, our little drummer boy. At times one will notice a resemblance to Animal from the Muppets. He bangs away, comes up with good beats and always smiles—he loves to play the drums. He also loves to watch “Mr. Mark,” his teacher and the drummer in Wind. There is always a moment on Sunday afternoon that he tells me all about how Mr. Mark played.

As we listened to the song, Sam asked me to explain it. I got pretty emotional and had to ask for a moment. I love the thought of a drummer boy who gets a chance to see Baby Jesus. I was moved by how the boy realized he was too poor to bring a gift that he thought would fit a King. He then asked if he could play his drum for Him instead.

Little Baby Pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, Pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring Pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give our King Pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum
Shall I play for you! Pa rum pum pum
On my drum.

I love this image of a boy playing his best for Jesus and giving it all to Him. He is using the gift that God gave Him and playing it back with passion and love so that he could honor the King.

As I explained the song to Sam, I longed for him to understand what it means to play his drum and whatever else God gives him for our King. I yearn for him to be a mighty man who sings and plays His praise with passion and love.

I only hope that I can be an example to Sam of what that looks like in my life. I know the gift I bring is not much, it’s not really fit for a King, but I want to play it with passion and joy for my Savior. I hope Sam enjoys the music he hears, that he would be like the ox and lamb and keep tune. More than that though, I want to play in such a way that Sam and others don’t notice me but see the greatness of Jesus and be inspired to play it all for Him.

Ultimately, I hope my playing produces a smile. It is all for Him that I play, and He deserves all I have.

Mary nodded Pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time Pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him Pa rum pum pum
I played my best for Him Pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum
Then He smiled at me Pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.

Photo by Alec Couros

If You Like Squirrels, Please Don't Read Further

2011-10-24T12:11:00.003-04:00

That’s it. I’ve had it. I don’t care what PETA says, I’m through with them. I have decided to be both judge and jury. The case is both clear and condemning. I think you will agree when you hear everything. SQUIRRELS MUST BE ERADICATED!

How dare they wreck my bird-watching enjoyment! They have eaten the bird food. Think of all those starving baby birds! The bag of seed is clearly labeled, don’t worry I’ve triple-checked it, it says bird seed. There is nothing about squirrels being allowed to dine in as well.

And I’ve been nice to them despite the fact that they mock me. I’ve only thrown snowballs at them. I’ve greased the bird feeder pole with olive oil so that they could smell good. Through it all they still have received seed and water even through the coldest of months. I think this alone should allow me to be a Franciscan for such divine love to these furry creatures. Do you hear me God, I’m trying to be nice!

Let’s face it, they are rats in trees! And it is a well-known fact that rats carried insects that carried bubonic plague. Who knows what these rodents are carrying? Think of our poor trees. The indignity they suffer. Something must be done.

I was doing OK with my issues with squirrel rage until a few weeks ago. As many of you know, I was working outside on my sermon, when a squirrel pooped on my head. Can you believe that? There, up in the tree, were two squirrels. One with a set of binoculars shouting orders to another squirrel that was locked and loaded. I didn’t hear it at first but now I remember this clearly. I could hear the squirrel screaming, “A little to the left. Compensate for the wind, wait, just a little higher. OK, bombs away.” I can still see those squirrels up there rolling around and laughing as they were giving high fives to each other.

Despite the prank, I was good. I brought my issues before the throne. I begged for God to give me a forgiving heart. I know He wanted me to love even my enemies, so I asked for that love.

A friend even gave me a pair of squirrel underwear to help the situation. I tried to get the squirrels to come over so that I could help them put the underwear on. But they wouldn’t come over. I am trying, Lord, can’t you see, I’m trying!

But one last event was the straw that broke the camels’ back. I’m done. Revenge will be mine. I was driving my car when I smelled burning wood. I stopped to look in the engine and noticed some twigs and leaves. Some squirrel decided my car was the best choice for a mobile home. I know he wanted to see the world, but, c’mon, it’s my car. He even ate some of the insulation. He almost wrecked my car.

Can you believe this? I ask you, what have I done to deserve such abuse?

Still, I am a man who does his best to search the Scriptures as a guide for life. During these trying and turbulent times, I have landed on Psalm 69. I have committed some of the verses to prayer and I’m praying them back to God. Some of you might be thinking, I was speaking of verse 7 which reads, “For it is for Your sake that I have borne reproach, that dishonor has covered my face.” I have thought a lot about these verses and they encourage me, but the verses I had in mind were verses 23-24, “Let their eyes be darkened, so that they cannot see, and make their loins tremble continually. Pour out your indignation upon them, and let your burning anger overtake them.” That’s more like it.

When I told my struggles to my neighbor, he offered to let me use his pellet gun. It was very kind, but I told him I was looking for something bigger. I had a cannon in mind.

I have also thought about buying some C-4. I think mixing it with peanut butter will be very enticing. I would put these little dainty treats all over the yard and wait for them to bring them back to their nests. Just thinking about what might happen next gives me a smile. I have wonderful pictures of Caddyshack in my head.

Some other thoughts and suggestions have come. I could attach an open wire to the bird bath and then wait for them to drink. Zzzz, it would be just like the flies hitting those electric lamps. I also could catch them in a trap and put them in a cardboard boat down the Connecticut River. Preferably, a boat that has a hole in it.

I have thought about what to do for a few days now. Yet nothing I come up with is good enough. To be honest, I don’t want to get rid of them, I WANT THEM TO SUFFER! Thus the blog, I was hoping you could help me on two things. First, can you sign a complaint that I will forward to our Congress. They must have the power to do something. Also, I am looking for suggestions about what to do? How would you make them suffer?

Changing Seasons

2011-10-19T16:52:00.003-04:00

Last night I was walking around the gardens and noticing how tired they looked. I knew it was time to begin cutting everything back for the fall and winter. Some of the plants I am OK about cutting back, others I am quite sad about. That would be true of my favorite plant this year, the Giant Elephant Ears from Thailand. What a showstopper this plant is! Eli can be wrapped up in one of the leaves and be completely covered. I have enjoyed watching it grow and I can’t wait to see it next year.

Cutting down the garden at this time of year is necessary, but it is not joyful. I will miss the blooms and the smells. Even now, I look forward to the butterflies coming back next year.

As hard as this is to end the season, God is so good at making me aware that He has not stopped showing off His beautiful creation. Some people think this is the time of the year when our Loving Creator is at His best. He could have been economical and simply dried up the leaves at the end of the year. That would be too easy. Instead, He creates a scientific process through which leaves change in such a way that boasts of God’s beauty.

God is so good to show off His glory in the variety of colors in the summer and the fall. He also reveals His holiness with the snow covering the ground in the winter. And He shows it again when the crocuses come up in the spring. Our Creator is so amazing, isn’t He?

God is with us in every season of the year and Solomon teaches us that He is with us in every season of life (Ecclesiastes 3). God is there in the seasons of weeping and laughing. He is there when the child is born and when the person dies. Each season is different, but God is always there.

Knowing this allows me to go and cut back those elephant ears. I know God will continue to show off His greatness. It might not be like these elephant ears, it might even be better. I do bet, though, that God will allow some maple leaves to fall down right before my face.

A Bold Kiss

2011-10-12T12:38:00.003-04:00

For some reason the other day I walked into the TV room and noticed this picture on the corner shelf. I have seen the picture so many times, but I never really stopped to look again. My first thought was, “What were you thinking?” Then I remembered the actual experience of “kissing the giraffe.” A worker at the reserve in Africa had challenged me to do it and I said sure. I was bold, and I was rewarded with a wonderful experience.

The picture brings back a flood of memories and emotions. I remember that youthful enthusiasm. I used to see a tree and wonder how I was going to climb it. I would see a rock in the middle of the stream and immediately plan my path to get there.

I yearned to go deeper with Jesus and experience greater depths of His love.

Lately though things have changed. I have opted for the safe and the ordinary. I have given into the fear and held back. I have chosen to be on the sidelines, content to watch others make those bold commitments to Jesus.

When was the last time I made a bold move for Jesus? When was the last time I stepped out on the ledge of my faith and let Him catch me? When was the last time I stepped out of the boat and walked on the water?

Oh yes, that time that Peter made the bold move of faith. He saw Jesus out on the water and he wanted to go. The other disciples must have said, “What are you thinking?” I believe Peter gazed at Jesus and thought, wow, this is going to be quite a ride.

When was the last time I made a bold move for Jesus? When was the last time I put that trust in Him?

That is not to say that every bold move we make for Jesus is huge. It’s not every day that we step out on the water or kiss a giraffe. Often those bold acts are everyday acts. Going over to see a neighbor. Giving extra money to support the church. Trusting that God will love me when I share the hurts that I am trying to hide. There are many ways that God calls us to be bold for Jesus.

You know, as proud as I am about making bold moves for Jesus, the experience afterwards gives me greater joy. Jesus always meets us in those bold moments and treats us to something new. He always reveals to us new things when we put that trust in Him. Peter got to walk on water.

Letter from Peru

2011-10-05T09:18:00.002-04:00

As many of you know, in February I had the opportunity to go to Peru and begin a partnership with a new church. I was truly moved by the church and its pastor. Recently, I received an email from him that I wanted to share with you.

Dear pastor,

I greet you, your leadership team and church members with happiness in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Pastor Deryk, we are very excited since you wrote telling us that you wanted to visit us. God give you the desires of your heart to visit us. We are very happy that our God will give us new opportunities to share moments with you and we thank God in advance because through your church we are being blessed with happiness gifts for our children. Currently there are 262 children, and maybe in December or January next year we will enroll more, though we haven’t decided this yet, but we will certainly be in touch.

On the other hand, our church is very thankful to you for sponsoring our children, and in this way you are becoming part of the work team in this ministry with children and enlarging Heaven’s Kingdom. Pastor, I also wanted to tell you that last September 18^th, the Evangelical churches of our city Barranca went out to the streets in a parade in occasion of the Bible’s month, and we testified of Christ. The children also went with us, so we are attaching some photos.

Many blessings,

Pastor Justiniano & Janet Rodas

Missionary Evangelical and Pentecostal Church

“Templo Sion”

As I read the letter, I thought about them walking the streets together and proclaiming Jesus Christ. I can hear them singing. I can see the children walking together. What a parade!! A public parade of people who are testifying of the greatness and love of Jesus Christ.

I looked away from my computer and I smiled. Then I was humbled. In that moment, I better understood the benefits of partnership. It is in these sort of partnerships that we get to celebrate the great things we see God doing. And it is also in these relationships where we are encouraged and challenged to grow.

I wonder if we would have the same boldness to put Jesus Christ on display in front of others? Do I witness to others in such a way that they see a parade testifying to the greatness of Jesus? What would happen?

I read the letter and am encouraged by a pastor and a church who are putting it all on the line for Jesus in their community. I hope my life and our church’s life does the same for our own.

Oxen Pull

2011-09-15T12:04:00.003-04:00

Why does it seem like I don’t make much progress in my Christian life? I struggle, I pull, and I strain, yet it seems that the wind is against me. I work hard and dig in but then there is just an inch of growth to show for it.

A few weeks ago, I went with my family to the Haddam Neck Fair. We watched a whole host of things. We saw the tractor pull. The boys went on some rides. Sam was in his own tractor pull contest. I watched the little pigs race. Most of all, we watched the oxen pull.

I am mesmerized by the oxen pull. I love watching the handler lead the oxen. They know how to get their steers pulling together with force. And every handler works differently.

At one point I saw a woman begin walking her oxen around the fairgrounds. At first, I was a little nervous to go near them. I always pictured oxen like bulls. In my mind, they seemed more like caged Tasmanian devils than the creatures they really are. Actually, they are quite docile, content to walk alongside their handler. They didn’t seem to mind the children touching them.

During the day God nudged me with the problem I was having. I thought of those wonderful words of Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”

Some people see these words as an option from Jesus. They think it is a nice concept to be yoked to Christ, but they also see it as a burden. They say to themselves, Why should I take on a burden? They believe they are not under a burden. They fail to see the heavy burden that is weighing them down. They miss out on Jesus’ offer.

That is not the case with me. I want to be yoked up with Jesus. I want to pull. I want the thrill of being with Him. I want to honor Him with all that I do.

No, my problem is a little different.

I have this image of myself yoked up next to a huge ox. The weight is clipped in and I am straining away with all that I have. I am digging in but I am getting nowhere. Next to me, yoked in with me, is this mighty ox just chewing away on some grass. He isn’t pulling yet because the Master hasn’t said, “Go!” But there I am jumping into the yoke, looking like I am working hard. But I can’t move ahead because there is no way I could pull the weight in the first place. Also, I end up pulling the oxen who isn’t going because He’s waiting for the Handler.

Oh, if I could just wait and listen…the weight would be pulled. The Mighty Ox would do the work. It would be a thrilling ride.

Baby Bunnies

2011-08-31T11:26:00.002-04:00

There are those moments during the day that I begin to worry about getting stuff done. I go through a mental checklist of all the things I need to do and try to figure out when they will get done. Last Tuesday was no different. I was getting anxious about all the little projects around the house for the week ahead. I went home a little early so I could get to work on the lawn.

I was doing well until I looked down and noticed something move. I had just run over a rabbit’s nest. Expecting the worst, I pulled back the top of the nest. Thankfully, no one was hurt. There were five healthy baby bunnies. Their eyes were barely open and they were all snug in a bundle. I put the nest back together as best as I could and finished the rest of the lawn.

But that night I began to worry. I looked out at the nest and watched for any signs of the mother. I checked the nest to make sure everyone was alright. Everyone was fine, but I wondered if the mother would come back. Would the babies be alright? Would they make it?

These baby bunnies began to occupy my attention. I was always on the lookout for the mother. I checked on the babies two or three times a day. I contemplated bringing them in. Maybe I could feed them. I didn’t know what to do.

Then to make matters worse, hurricane Irene was on its way. I knew they wouldn’t make it. I began to rationalize with myself. That’s the way of the wild. Nature can be cruel. Oh well, they will be food for another hungry creature.

As the rain came, I thought about putting something over them. I even went online to see what I would need to feed them. How will they make it? They will get soaked and cold and they will eventually die. I looked out the window at the nest in the grass and I worried.

The first thing I did after the storm was check on the rabbits. I gently moved the top of the nest back, and there they were, all warm and snug. They looked like they were ready to take on the world. And the next morning they did just that—they were off to conquer life.

It was then that God reminded me of Jesus’ words in Matthew: “Look at the birds of the air [and the rabbits in the field]; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”

Deryk, why do you worry? God will always provide. He always has. He always will.

Photo by Andre Mouraux

Boating

2011-08-24T12:02:00.002-04:00

In the summertime I always enjoy going on a boat. There is something relaxing and life-giving about being on the water. The sweet, salty air and the fresh breeze are invigorating.

That being said, I would not advise going out this weekend. The Perfect Storm might not be brewing but hurricane Irene is heading our way and the sea will surely be rough. If you were to go out, you would be at the mercy of the wind and the waves—and they are not very merciful.

It is for this reason that some people don’t like to go on a boat. They’d rather have their feet on dry, stable ground. They dislike floating on the water. They don’t like the fact that when you are on a boat, sometimes you’re not in control. At times, you’re at the mercy of the water or the wind. Sure, you can steer with it, but ultimately, the wind and the water will tell you where to go.

I love being on the water, but even I wouldn’t want to go out this weekend. That is, unless Jesus is in the boat with me. If He were in the boat, and He wanted to calm the wind and the waves, then I am game.

I am struck by all the great things we learn about Jesus in the boat. He could fish anywhere. He was calm in the midst of the storm. He could walk on water. He could control the stormy sea. Greatness comes to mind. The question/statement by the disciples says it all: “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey Him?” (Matthew 8:27)

In every boat trip, Jesus showed He is in control. The winds and the waves might put up a fight against mere mortals, but not against Jesus. The disciples saw chaos in the stormy sea. Jesus saw an opportunity to show who’s the boss. He organizes the unorganizable and uses it for His purposes.

I have also noticed that every time the disciples are in the boat, they feel compelled to respond. They see the greatness of Jesus and they respond accordingly. They worship. They drop their nets and follow Him. They walk on water. They listen and receive words of forgiveness and love. They witness the majesty of Jesus, and they must show off His greatness with the appropriate response.

What about me? How will I respond in the boat? What will I do when the winds seem to take over? Will I continue my normal pattern of freaking out and telling Jesus that I want things done my way? Will I be unaware of Who’s in the boat with me?

Maybe Jesus is asking me to respond differently? Maybe He is asking me to ride out the storm with Him? Maybe He wants to reveal His greatness?

Photo by Mike Baird

Masks

2011-08-11T10:57:00.002-04:00

In his book Courageous Leadership, Bill Hybels writes this line as he gives his description of the early Church found in Acts 2:42-47:

They took off their masks and shared their lives with one another.

I read that line and I was struck as I thought of all the masks I see in church. We are supposed to come together and rejoice in the fact that we don’t need masks in church. Sadly, this is not the case. We see masks all around us.

As I have talked to people, I realize that there are many reasons that we put on masks. Sometimes we want to hide what’s underneath. Some believe they are not worthy or beautiful enough to show their true face. There are masks designed to hide wounds and there are others that conceal deep insecurity.

Others put on masks not because they feel ashamed but because they believe that the mask is what others want to see. Some wear the happy-face mask because they think no one wants to see the lonely face. Others want to show that they are always doing it right instead of acknowledging that they are in a struggle with God.

Even worse is when the mask has been forced on by others. Some people don’t want the mask of tragedy and pain. They try to take the mask off but they have not found anyone who can help them.

Then there are those like Moses. Remember when he came down from the mountain after being with God. The Israelites asked him to put on a mask (veil) so that they would not have to look at the reflection of God on his face. I wish I could say it only happened back then. I still see masks being put on because the church family feels a little uncomfortable with someone who is really striving after God. The Israelites wanted Moses to be “normal,” and unfortunately, we can have that same tendency.

Yet what is most tragic of all is when our church cultures encourage mask-wearing rather than discouraging it. We don’t want to be around the people who are recovering from something. They can meet downstairs. We want everyone to have it together.

I wish the early Church were the norm rather than the exception, don’t you? I long for the church to be known as the place of healing, where the masks can be taken off.

Paul knew the way this could happen. In 2 Corinthians 3 he describes the time when Moses was asked to put on the veil. Thankfully, he says that in Christ we can get rid of the mask. In verse 18 he writes, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

How did the early Church live together unmasked? Paul says it’s when the church beholds Jesus. And when the church looks together at our Lord, the Spirit does an unmasking and transformation so that the church looks like Jesus.

I love the fact that Paul says “we” instead of “I.” For it is only in real, authentic community that this can happen. It is only when we lovingly point out to one another that we want to see their real face and, at the same time, reveal our “unmasked” face as well. When we love others for who they are and encourage them to see that God loves them, then people will have the courage to look to Jesus unmasked. And that is where the healing and transformation can begin.

Wouldn’t you love to see what others really look like? Don’t you want others to see the real you? God loves the real unmasked us and He wants to do a transformation.

Photo by Joel Cooper.

Through the Lens

2011-08-04T11:31:00.002-04:00

The other day I was watching Dave Gilbert look through the lens of the video camera and I wondered what he was looking for. I asked him what he saw when he looked through the lens. He mentioned a number of things, such as composition and light. Some of the concepts I understood, others I had no clue. When I look through a lens, I only see the subject. Sadly, I am a point-and-shoot kind of guy. I see a person and Dave sees so much more.

The difference reminds me of the story of Elisha, his servant, and the army of Syria. The story was told that the King of Syria was frustrated because the Israelites always knew what his plans were. When he found out that it was Elisha who was revealing the information, he sent his army to capture him. The Syrian army surrounded Elisha. Obviously, this alarmed Elisha’s servant. Elisha, on the other hand, was calm, for he saw something else. Elisha then prayed in 2 Kings 6:17, “O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.” The servant then saw what Elisha saw. He saw the army of the Lord surrounding the army of Syria. He saw the presence of God and was comforted.

When Elisha looked through the lens of life, he saw God’s handiwork all around him. His servant was more of a point-and-shoot kind of guy. He only saw what was in front of him. The servant did not notice anything else. His eyes were only focused on the obvious.

Elisha was not the only one who had this type of vision. David saw Goliath but thought he looked puny next to God. Jesus was able to walk through life and see where His Father was already at work.

What do I see when I look through the lens? Do I see God’s beauty as the butterfly lands on the butterfly bush? Do I observe God’s handiwork when I watch a human being dance? Do I see His fingerprints when I walk through the church? When I meet someone, do I notice God’s presence?

Elsiha’s prayer comes back to my mind, O Lord, please open my eyes that I may see. I want to be able to look through the lens and see more. I want God to transform my eyes and my understanding so that I see Him not only before me but everywhere and every way.

This I am sure does not come quickly. But I do believe that with some work and a lot of prayer, I will eventually be able to look through the lens in a completely new way.

Photo by Roberto Martinez

Beauty

2011-07-28T13:22:00.003-04:00

Confession time…I was staring the other day. I know I shouldn’t stare. My parents raised me better than that. But I couldn’t get my eyes off this woman.

Stop. I know what you’re thinking. That’s not why I was staring. I was staring at something else.

My staring can be best explained by a text, Psalm 90:17. Moses wrote Psalm 90 from the wilderness wanderings. He lamented where they were at and asked God to bless them moving forward. He ends the Psalm in verse 17 with these words, “Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands.”

The word “favor” is also used in Psalm 27:4 and can be translated “beauty.” Which means that Moses was asking for God’s beauty to come down and rest upon us so that the things we are called to do (the work of our hands) may prosper.

Which brings me back to this woman. I realized I was seeing God’s beauty. I was watching, check that, staring at a woman who was doing what God had called her to do. And in that moment when I could not get my eyes off of her, she had everything going in the right direction. Everything was flowing. Everything was in sync. In that moment I saw a mixture of worship, gifting and passion. I was watching a reflection of God’s beauty.

She was doing what she loved. God had gifted her to do it. It was worshipful. And I was mesmerized.

It makes me think, I wonder what it would have been like to watch, check that, stare at Jesus. If this woman was revealing God’s beauty, how much more of God’s beauty would have been seen through Jesus! He definitely had that perfect mixture of worship, gifting and passion. Oh to see Him in action!

I wonder if I reveal God’s beauty? When are those times when God’s beauty is resting on me for others to see? And how can my actions be in tune with God so that others see His beauty more?

And how can we as a church show off God’s beauty? I desperately want to see God’s beauty on us in such a way that confirms and prospers what He has called us to do. I want to see it, but not for our sake. No. I want others to see God’s beauty. I want others to come to faith and be His sons and daughters. I want others to come to God in prayer and desire with David, “I want to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord.”

I guess I want to be stared at as well.

Of course, only for the right reasons.

Photo by Nick Stenning.

The Cabinet That Shall Not Be Named

2011-07-20T11:24:00.003-04:00

I was puttering around this morning, cleaning up what was left from the night before. Recycling needed to be put away and the counter needed to be cleaned off. I then started to put away the clean dry dishes. Some of them were easy to put away, but then there were some other items that I tried to avoid. I saw them and hoped someone else could put them away. I dreaded the next step. I had to put the Tupperware away.

Oh I how I despise the Tupperware cabinet. I always close my eyes when I first open the door. I expect a pile of Tupperware will fall out. There is some order in there. The covers are all together. But the rest of it is stacks of different shapes and sizes. They lean over worse than the Tower of Pisa.

I always wonder how we get more Tupperware. It seems like every time I open the door there are the uninvited and unwanted Tupperware friends who are bent on ruining my house. It’s like the dust underneath the bed or the squirrels by the bird feeder, where did you come from? Wait…check that…I don’t want to know where the dust comes from.

As I opened the door this morning, I wondered about what I should do next. Should I just throw the container in and not deal with it? Or should I take the time to restack, hoping that my restacking would make a structural engineer proud?

As I stared at the cabinet, God began to speak to me. Deryk, what cabinet is there in your life that you are avoiding? Why won’t you open up that door and let Me deal with what’s in there?

Did you have to go there, God?

Yes, there is that cabinet door that only gets opened up every once in a while. At first, I did not even know it was there. I would walk by it and not even see it. Then God pointed it out to me, and from that point on I avoided it whenever I got the chance. There were times that I would have to open the door. The stuff flew out and I tried to cram it all back in so that I could shut the door. But mostly, I did not want to deal with the unchecked sin and all of its uninvited and unwanted friends.

Jesus, can’t we deal with this some other time? Please. Are you sure?

Looks like I am going to clean my “Tupperware cabinet.”

Chasing the Kingdom

2011-07-12T09:55:00.001-04:00

Jesus told a story that went something like this:

Jim owned a small but lucrative painting business. One day a real estate agent called him to paint a vacant house both inside and out. It was not a great house nor a great neighborhood and Jim wondered how much the painting would help. Nevertheless, he took the job and began the next day. That afternoon, Jim began to work inside. He looked in one of the closets and he found something, something of enormous value. He had to have it and he began to formulate a plan.

That night he got home he began to make some calls. He sold his business to his competitor. He put his house up for sale. He even sold his car.

He raised all the money that he could so he could buy that unpainted house in the bad neighborhood. The real estate thought Jim was nuts when he heard the story, but not Jim. Jim ran as fast as he could to his new house. He jumped around the house and danced with joy. He had nothing else to his name but he had enormous treasure.

Jesus wants us to go after Him and His kingdom like Jim. He wants us to run after the treasure. He wants us to rejoice when we have it. He wants us to seek Him with all that we have. He wants us to give up everything for Him, and if we do, we will receive an enormous treasure.

Often when we talk about the kingdom and our quest for it, we speak about seeking His kingdom. Jesus used that language in the Sermon on the Mount. He wants us to seek His kingdom instead of seeking the kingdom of the world. He promises us that if we seek His kingdom first, then all other things will be given to us as well.

But the image of Jim running after his new treasure is different. He didn’t care what the others thought. He had his eyes on the prize and he knew he was the smarter man for it. He wasn’t just seeking the kingdom. He was running after the kingdom. He was chasing the kingdom.

Chasing the kingdom. I love that phrase. It is what I want to be about. I do not want to casually seek the kingdom. I want to go hard after it because Jesus went hard after me. I want to see where He is at and chase after Him. I do not want to chase after the things of the world but chase after the things of God. I want to watch Jesus run and I want to chase Him.

Chasing the kingdom. Chasing the prize. Chasing God.

I want to live like Jim, Lord. Please give me the strength to do it.

Rethinking Purpose

2011-06-30T11:55:00.002-04:00

I read the books and the magazine articles. I hear the experts tell me that I am to live with purpose. I need to set goals. I need to have a plan and I need to execute that plan.

But what happens when God has other plans in mind? What if God’s purpose is different than the one I have set out to do? Who wins out?

Well, I think we know the answer to that. But what frustrates me about it is, how long does it take an idiot like me to figure it out? How many times does God have to whack me on the back of my head before I get it?

It’s been several weeks.

When I start off my day or my week, I have a list of things that I want to accomplish. I plan when I am going to do them. I anticipate what will get done. Then, and this is where I often get in trouble, I begin to think of how satisfied I will be at the end of the day. I will sit back in my chair, put up my feet and think—job well done.

I haven’t been doing that much. Instead, I have been trying to figure out how it all went wrong. God, why can’t I get these things done? Can You make me more time? Can you make me more disciplined so I can achieve my goal?

Whack!

It’s not that I am lazy. It’s because other things and other people keep getting in the way. I love these people and the situations that I get drawn to. But don’t they know I have a plan! Don’t they know I have goals!

Whack!

I resonate with the story of Jairus and his concern for his daughter (Mark 5:21-43). He pleaded with Jesus to come with him so that his deathly ill daughter could be healed. But on the way, Jesus was interrupted by a woman who yearned to be healed. Jesus stopped and spent time with the woman. He healed her completely. I am sure Jairus was thinking, “C’mon, there are more important things to do. This isn’t part of the plan. What about my family needs?”

Actually, there have been great things that have been happening in these unplanned interruptions. I have seen God do amazing things right before me. People are going deeper with Jesus. People are reaching out to others. People are being healed. It has been awesome to watch.

Wow!

Getting back to the story, Jesus seemed to have no agenda. I say seem because we know better than that. Of course He had a plan and a purpose. He was always on the lookout for the ways He could join in on the Father’s agenda. He purposely made himself aware of the God-surprises. They were not interruptions but they have always been part of the plan.

Hello Deryk!

God, are you saying that my well drawn out plan is not the same as Yours?! Are you saying that I need to rethink my purpose and goals?!

Photo by Dave Gilbert.

Tombstone

2011-06-23T11:40:00.001-04:00

This morning, as I was reading God’s Word, a text stopped me, made me think and pray, and “wonder as I wander.” It is from a section in Deuteronomy where Moses is speaking to the Israelites before they enter the Promised Land. He reminds them of the blessings of obedience and the curses that come with disobedience. Moses writes in Deut. 28:47-48: “Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things, therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness, and lacking everything.”

Later, Jesus issued a similar command in Matthew 6:24: “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”

As I chewed on what Moses and Jesus were saying, some questions and thoughts ran through my head. Does this mean I have to sell everything? What about that IPad that I want? How much is enough?

Surely, Moses and Jesus are not saying that it is wrong to be rich. We know about Abraham and Job with all of their wealth. They were still righteous. There is also nothing wrong with the gifts that God gives us in life. There is also nothing wrong with money. It can be used for good things to help others.

So what are they saying?

Solomon also comes to mind. We know he was rich beyond belief. We also know that those riches and the women that he married led him away from God. Then there is the rich man who was given the opportunity to have Jesus and treasure in heaven but could not give up the things that Jesus asked him to give up.

As I look again at what Moses said, I realize that “things” have the potential of leading us away from that joyful serving of the Lord. They can tempt us away from following Jesus. They can become powerful enemies against our love for God. When that happens, God will give us what we think we want. We will see what it’s like to serve them rather than God.

I can’t help but think of a tombstone in Woburn, Massachusetts. I don’t remember the person’s name or even if there was an epitaph. I do remember the pictures that were etched into the tombstone. Apparently, this person was a gambler of sorts, because there were two pictures: a lottery scratch card and a slot machine. What made it worse was that both pictures revealed that the dead person lost. No million dollar winner here. Just a commentary on what the love of money did to this person. Like the rich man who met Jesus, he tried for the riches of the world instead of the treasure in heaven. He got what he wanted…I guess.

How sad?

Photo by Dave Gilbert

Routine

2011-06-16T14:44:00.002-04:00

I have fallen into a routine. I go through the motions of my life but there seems to be no life. I make my way downstairs, get my coffee and then open up the top part of our dutch doors to let the cool air in. I look groggily out into the world and gaze at nothing as I try to wake up. I don’t even notice the squirrels.

The predictable pattern continues as I sit down in the same chair and read the Bible. I read the words but they are just words on the page. They are supposed to be an open door into a conversation with God but I don’t go to the door. I struggle to stop and get out of the routine. I want to go deeper and have more conversation with God. I know He’s encouraging me to break out, but…well…I can’t get myself out of the rut.

This morning, after my Bible reading, I opened up a new book. It is a book that I have been waiting to read because I know I need to interact with the content or at least hope to interact with it. The book was written over 70 years ago by a missionary named Frank Laubach. It is entitled Letters by a Modern Mystic. Frank yearned for a conscious moment-by-moment communion with God. He had a yearning, a dream, an if-God-asks-us-to-do-it-it-must-be-possible type of hope. He tried to be aware of God throughout the day. His plan was simple, to spend one second of every minute with God.

I read the introduction and opening words. The routine is gone. Life is suddenly vibrant. I am aware of a deep longing in me. It is more of a burning desire. I want to spend more time with God. There is a faint knocking at the door.

Maybe I’m different from everybody else. I get caught up in my own world. It’s not that I don’t want God in my life—I do…desperately. That is why I have my daily disciplined time with God. But lately, I put my head down and think about what I need to do next. I have good intentions to spend quality time with God during the day. Sadly, though, I get to the end of the day and I drop my head. It is not that I am ashamed. It’s not that I feel that God is angry with me, although He could be. It is more that I am aware of all of those opportunities that I missed throughout the day to awaken myself to what God is about and what He desires of me. The routine has trapped me.

The routine resumes as I get up to fetch another cup of coffee. Suddenly I am drawn to the door. I notice the cool morning breeze that is airing out the stuffiness of my house. I am startled by the sound of the birds in delight, play and song. I stop to enjoy, look to the sky and wonder what type of day this going to be. I begin to breathe deeply. I wonder where God is going to meet me.

I am reminded of the verse in Revelation 3:20, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.”

Lord Jesus, keep me, no…strap me to the open door. Help me to breathe. Awaken me to what You are doing. Only You can get me out of the routine.

Photo by John Millard

Alone

2011-06-09T16:40:00.002-04:00

We are not meant to be alone.

On Monday I did a funeral for a man I never met. This is not the first time I have done such a funeral, but it was a first in another way. This man died all alone.

Twenty years ago, he was found alive on his floor after being in the same spot for two days. His mind had slipped and he was incoherent. The police found no relatives, so they gave his case to the state. The state assigned this man a lawyer, and the lawyer watched over his estate until he died last week. He spent his last twenty years alone. No one knew who he was and no one cared to search for him. The nurses cared for him but they didn’t know anything about his life.

For twenty years he was surrounded by people, yet he was alone. I can’t imagine what that would be like. I don’t want to know what that would be like.

It encourages me that Jesus never wanted us to be alone. We live with the glorious comforting promise that God will never leave us nor forsake us. God is always with us.

Jesus also wanted to make sure that His disciples live in community. He didn’t want them to be “lone-ranger” Christians. He wants us to live with one another. Think about it. He called them into a fellowship. He never sent a disciple to do a job alone. His desire is for us to live out His life with others.

Some might say, why? We are bound to hurt one another. Wouldn’t it be easier if we could just do it ourselves? Then we would have no one else who could mess up our lives, and we couldn’t mess up theirs.

But then we would miss the joys and the laughter. We would miss the engaging conversations over a meal. We would have no one to share our lives and our struggles with. In the end, we would be all alone in a nursing home. We would have people who take care of us who have no idea what excites us. We would die with no one by our side. No one would miss us. We would have a funeral with no one there.

Photo by Thomas Lieser

Matchmaker

2011-06-02T09:43:00.002-04:00

Some people love to play Matchmaker. You know them, don’t you? They are always trying to put two people together because they know it will work out. And sometimes it does.

Well, I am praying that a certain two would come together and make a match. Based on what I have seen, I don’t think there is much hope on the human side. But from God’s perspective, it is a match made in Heaven.

I am praying that we will see Righteousness and Peace together in our church, our community, and our nation.

Righteousness is a big word that we use in our churches that most people find hard to pin down. The way I define it at times is “right-relationship.” We are to be in right-relationship with God, which can only come through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. We are also to be in right-relationship with one another as we together live out God’s commands as a way of life.

Peace comes from the Hebrew word shalom. It is where a person’s or community’s life with God and everything else around them is in harmony. Shalom is not just spiritual but physical as well. It is when God’s peace extends into every fabric of our lives.

Sadly, I have seen how our American church has given these two a bad name and split the two apart. Righteousness is portrayed as a moral code that is absent any understanding of relationship. Peace is understood as harmony but there is little mention of God. Unfortunately, I have seen Christian leaders who use righteousness as a way to vilify others in the name of God. And then I have seen others who do the opposite and speak of peace and drop every standard in the name of acceptance.

Well, in Psalm 85 we are told that when God comes down and visits His people that righteousness and peace come together. In fact, they even kiss. Psalm 85:10 reads, “Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.”

Oh, how I long for that to happen, where we see God’s glory in our midst and righteousness and peace together. I yearn for true revival to happen, where we see God’s footsteps (85:13) all over our community. I want God to come down and receive the glory He deserves. I want to see people come to know Him. I want us to act like Him. I long for revival, don’t you?

While we pray and long and wait, I believe we need to live right now with the belief that God is present amongst us. We are to strive together and make sure that God’s match is made in our church. We are to do this when we discern God’s voice together, when we spend time together, and when we are out with others.

Together let’s try to work at making the match that is made in Heaven. And let’s pray that God makes the match a reality in our midst.

O Heavenly Father, make a Heavenly match. Reveal Yourself and come down amongst us.

Photo by Dave Gilbert

Waiting

2011-05-26T16:58:00.001-04:00

Can I ask you, what is the benefit of waiting? I don’t like to wait. For that matter, I don’t know who does. I am sure thatthere is some person who loves pain and likes to wait in traffic. I am sure there is someone out there. It’s not me.

I ask this because God has lately drawn me to Psalm 62. In particular I have felt led to pray verse 5: “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him.” I keep looking for another text from Psalm 62 to speak to me. Please Lord, can you ask me to do something else?

But then I hear nothing. So I begin to wait in silence. Soon though I get impatient and begin to ask: Why can’t I move ahead? Why are you holding back? Why must I wait?

I don’t know the answer. I wish I did. I chuckle though when I think, God is saying, “Wait and I will give you the answer to why I am asking you to wait.”

In the meantime, while I wait, I have noticed that He has called others to wait as well. I think of Abraham waiting for Isaac, Joseph waiting for a dream to come true, others waiting for the Baby Jesus become the Adult Jesus. And they had to wait a long time—years! Ugh, please no, God.

I guess the good thing, though, is that God is not picking on me. He’s loving me and possibly, it shudders me to say it, using waiting as a forming process to make me into the man He wants me to be.

The truth is that I want Him to zap me into the man after His own heart. Just give me a shot of grace mixed with a full portion of His Spirit and I can call Him in the morning. But I don’t think that can happen. Check that…He can do it but that is not His normal process.

And so I will wait. I will struggle, yes, but I will wait in silence. The truth is I want to wait. I want to obey God and be His faithful follower. I have just become whiny about it.

I wish I could wait around and tell you the answer to why God wants me to wait. But I have no time. I have to get home so I can eat with my family. I hope Christy makes something good. You know, now that I think of it, I would love some pot roast tonight. I want good pot roast, the kind that has been simmering for hours and hours. I don’t want something that is thrown in the microwave. I want something that comes out of the crock pot. I want the meat to fall apart and be tender like butter. Mmm, I can taste it now.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.

Maybe God is slow cooking some pot roast.

The great photo was taken by Dave Gilbert

Washing the Car...Sort of

2011-05-19T17:11:00.002-04:00

Like me, you might be shocked as to how quick a dark-colored car can turn yellow on a pollen-filled day.

I had a day free last week so I thought I should wash the car. The question was, do I include Eli or not. On the practical, trying-to-get-things-done side, this was a no-brainer. I’d better wait until he naps. However, on the fun, Daddy-time side, there was an adventure waiting. I chose an adventure and I got a wet one.

After filling up the bucket with soap and water, I thought it might be best for me to hold the hose…for obvious reasons. But then he took the sponge and started washing the driveway. The sponge filled quickly with sand and I thought, “That’s going to leave a mark!”

So, I took the sponge. I quickly regretted my decision while running away from the spray. Some of it actually did get on the car. I would have him spray the car and then I would wash and he would then rinse. It sort of went like that. Sometimes, I guess.

Eli laughed all the time but I think I had more fun. Once I was wet, I realized getting the car done was the last thing I needed to do. Spending fun time with Eli was far more important.

Later that day, after I dried off, I thought about my time and realized that my partnering with God is a lot like washing the car.

If God could get frustrated, He surely could get frustrated with me. It would be better for Him to do things alone. It would be so much better, faster, and without any mess. It would be perfect. Yet, He chooses to do things with me. He chooses the relational time, Father-and-son time, Eli-and-his-daddy-washing-the-car time, and that’s perfect.

I’m sure He smiles and laughs at me as I think I can do it. Daddy, Daddy, I do. I do! And as I ponder it now, I think what I fool I am to believe I can do this on my own or even at all. It is like Eli being alone to wash the car. I am not doing God’s work. God is working and I get to partner with Him. I don’t even know if I am helping, but I get to be a part.

Washing cars and partnering with God, what an honor to be like Eli and have fun working with our Father. We get wet, we have fun, we smile, and I think He smiles as well.

Circus

2011-05-04T14:05:00.002-04:00

I am so excited. I can’t wait. The suspense is killing me. I get to take Sam to the circus tonight. And even better, he doesn’t even know about it yet. He will be so excited. A while back we were reading a book about the circus and he asked if he could go. I want to tell him but I know he would be crazy and uncontrollable for the rest of the day. So I must wait, but the anticipation is mounting.

In fact, I don’t know who is going to be more excited—Sam or me. I can’t wait to watch him run around and point with glee. He will be talking about it for days.

As I write this, it makes me think of God and His desire to give us gifts. When Jesus talks about prayer in Luke 11, He gives us this image of our Heavenly Father giving the best gift. He ends His words in verse 13 with “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

Sometimes God gives us things without us asking. These unexpected gifts remind us that He is there and He is loving. There is so much that He does for us that we don’t deserve.

Most of the time though, like Jesus says in verse 13, He wants us to ask. He wants the time with us. He desires a relationship with us. He doesn’t want to just give us the ticket to the circus, He wants to go with us.

He also wants to give us the best. Not what we think is best, but the best. Often times we don’t know what the best is. If I asked Sam what the best thing I could give him tonight, I don’t think he would ever think of the circus. We don’t know what the best is at times. As 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him...” God has prepared things for us that are greater than we can ever imagine. He loves us that much and wants us to ask.

Jesus tells us that God’s best for us is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the best because it is God Himself. Only the Holy Spirit can bring out all that God wants to do in us. Only He can transform us to be like Jesus in every way. And there is so much more that the Holy Spirit does in our lives. I just don’t have room here.

I can’t wait for tonight, and when I think about it even more, I can’t wait to see what God wants us to do.

When Desires Collide

2011-04-20T16:47:00.002-04:00

The text that has struck me this Holy Week comes from John 12. Jesus realizes that the moment has come for Him to go through all the events surrounding His crucifixion. He talks about His upcoming death and His desire that we follow Him. He ends the conversation with these powerful words in verse 27 and 28: “Now is My soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify Your name.”

I meditate on this story and become more in love with Jesus than before. I recognize the hard choices that He forged His will to make. I see desires I want to have.

I am in awe when I consider how He handled the struggle of competing desires that were within Him. It makes me think of my life and what I am to do when my fleshly desire collides with the desire to obey God’s will.

Isn’t that what’s there? I see Jesus having a desire to stay away from suffering. He doesn’t want to go through the inevitable events. He wants another way—a way without pain. But then there is a deep desire to glorify His Father. He wants to obey and please His Father. Both desires are slamming into each other like rams lunging at each other in a field. Which will win?

Jesus clearly shows us which desire won out. His words, though, reveal to me how the battle was won.

I see a Son who was honest before His Father. He knew He could go to His Heavenly Father and share His struggles to do what was right. I believe He also openly struggled before His Father not as a way to question Him but as a way to gain strength from His Father to do His will. He seemed to know that His desire to do the Father’s will would win out, but that did not mean that there weren’t questions.

Jesus was a Man who knew His purpose in life. It was simple and yet extremely hard. His purpose was to show off or magnify the Trinity’s great love by going to the cross to take the judgment of our sins. When things got tough, He reminded Himself of this purpose and used it to keep on the road before Him.

Jesus chose to obey, no matter what the cost. He used His deepest desire to glorify His Father as the motivation to obey. He thought not of Himself but of His Father.

Oh, I long to be more like Him.

painting by El Greco

Kyrie Eleison

2011-04-14T18:06:00.007-04:00

A few weeks ago, the choir sang a moving piece. Well, they always sing moving pieces, but that’s another story. The choir actually sang only a few words. But those words, WOW.

Kyrie eleison. Christe eleison.

Kyrie eleison is translated, Lord have mercy. Christe eleison is translated, Christ have mercy. These are the words that a man named Bartimaeus used when he met Jesus along the way. As Jesus came closer he began to scream for help and for mercy.

Kyrie eleison.

Bartimaeus was blind. But that doesn’t means he didn’t see. He knew who Jesus was and he knew his need. Yes, he wanted to see, but his first cry was for mercy.

Kyrie eleison.

Lord have mercy on me. I need you to stop by the way and help me. I can’t do this on my own. I am unable to live without you. Lord….have mercy on me.

As I have been going through Lent, I have cried out like Bartimaeus. I have asked for the ability to see Jesus in every aspect of my life. I know He is there on the way but I can’t always see Him. Or maybe more accurately, I am so caught up in what I want to see that I am blinded to what He is doing all around me and in me.

I have also begged for mercy. I have asked for help, and boy do I need it. There is so much in my life that needs improvement. There is so much more God can do in me and through me. I want to see so much more of Jesus in my life, and I need His mercy to do it.

You took on the punishment that I deserved. I am sorry. I can never give you enough thanks. Give me more of You in my life, Lord, so that others don’t look at me—rather, they look to You.

Kyrie eleison.

Kyrie was written by Louis Vierne.

Yes Lord, I believe, at Least I Think I Do

2011-04-07T06:40:00.004-04:00

This past weekend, my family said goodbye to a good man, a very good man, Dr. Virgil Polley. Dr. Polley was first and foremost a man after Gods’ heart and an accomplished surgeon second. He was a man who understood the concept of gratitude. His gratefulness to God was deep and real. It went beyond the simple “thank you” and pervaded his life. I am still struck by his grateful heart and I hope I can have that godly characteristic in my life as well.

At his memorial service, I was asked to read a familiar text at the funeral, John 11:21-29, where Jesus meets Martha after Lazarus’ death and proclaims that He is the resurrection and the life. As I thought more about the text I was drawn again to those powerful words of Jesus, “ I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

I have read this text so many times before and I think I have interpreted it the way Martha did in the moment. Yes, Lord in you there is eternal life. Yes, there will be a resurrection at the end of time because of who you are and what you have done. Yes, Lord I believe this.

This is the great promise that we have in Jesus. We believe in Him and we receive eternal life. There is no other way except in trusting in His love and resurrection power. I think Martha believed this. But, the more I think about this text, the more I believe Jesus was asking her another question on top of that.

I think Jesus was asking Martha, “Do you believe that there is eternal life in me and do you believe I can do this miracle right now?” Martha says she believes Him but then later tries to stop Him from having the stone rolled away from Lazarus tomb. I think Martha believed the first part of the question but not the second. She could not believe that Jesus could literally raise her brother from the dead.

As I listened to the text, I heard Jesus ask me the same question He asked Martha, “Deryk, do you believe this?” Do you believe that I can do something more than what you expect?

I admit at times I don’t. I know God is able to do anything, but then I hear myself questioning. Do You really want to do this, Lord? Yes, Lord, I think you can. Or I hope you can. To be honest Lord, I want you to but I recognize there is a huge amount of unbelief there.

Isn’t it hard to recognize those times when Jesus looks us in the eye and says, “Well, do You believe I want to do this right now?” Sometimes we get caught up in the daily walk and we begin to think that there is nothing new around the corner. I mean we hope there will be, but if we are honest, we are scared of it as well.

Does Jesus want to do something more in your life? Is He asking you to believe Him at His word now? I think He is asking that of me and I want to be the one who says, “Yes, Lord I believe. Now, let’s go move that stone and let Lazarus out.”

Lord, help me to know those times when You are calling me to believe in something more. Not just believe You can but know this is the moment you want to do something over the top. Lord, give me that faith so that I am ready to walk up to the cave, push away the rock, and see Your power at work.

2011-03-30T12:15:00.003-04:00

In the fall of 1857, New York was going through a sort of depression. During that time, the North Church in downtown New York hired a missionary named Jeremiah Lanphier. He felt overwhelmed with the work in front of him as well as the needs of the people around him. He decided to call a prayer meeting to seek God. The first week six people came. The following week there were forty intercessors. The week after that, it was decided that people should gather to meet for prayer daily instead of weekly. Within six months, 10,000 men and women were gathering daily for prayer.

This revival spread up and down the coast. In all places it was marked by a deep need for prayer. A few years later, God visited our beloved First Church as well. The pastor at the time was Willis Colton. He wrote about the spring of 1862, when “a gentle visitation of the Holy Ghost was given to us on high.” He wrote that “Jesus came down ‘like dew on the mown grass, like showers that water the Earth.’” People started coming to faith, and more meetings were held for prayer. As a result of the revival, 35 to 45 people at First Church came to believe in Jesus Christ.

In Ezekiel 36, we have the great promise that God is going to gather together His people and give them new hearts and bless them with His Holy Spirit. The way He is going to bring this about is through the prayers of His people. It reads in Ezekiel 36:37, “Thus says the Lord God: This also I will let the house of Israel ask me to do for them: to increase their people like a flock.”

Last week at our midweek Lenten Service we talked about fasting. We learned that we are to fast because we long for His Presence. In Luke 2, we read about Anna, who fasted for Jesus to come. We, too, are to fast and pray for Him not only to come and take us home, but to ask for Him to draw close and revive our land.

A stirring seemed to happen after the service in some of us, where we longed for God to do it again. Some of you came to me and wanted to go deeper in prayer and beg for Him to come.

Well, count me in. I am seeking His face as well. We need our awesome God to bless us mightily. We need to gather together as His people. We need to come together before Him with humble hearts and ask, “Will You not revive us again, that Your people may rejoice in You? Show us your unfailing love, O Lord, and grant us Your salvation” (Psalm 85:6-7).

Do it again, Lord. Please do it again.

Feasting on God

2011-03-22T09:10:00.003-04:00

One of the ways that I have sought God’s face is the practice of fasting. Obviously, it is not something I do every day. Yet, I fast often. I find it to be a vital discipline in my walk with Jesus.

Some of you have asked me about fasting. What follows is some practical advice on fasting. I hope you will try this ancient practice. I believe God has a feast He wants to serve you.

(When I talk about fasting, I am speaking about refraining from food. Others fast from different things. However, for my purposes here I will talk about not eating.)

Why fast?

Jesus calls us to fast in the Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew 6:16. He uses the phrase, “when you fast.” He does not say if but when. He also mentions the practice right alongside of giving and praying. Obviously, we think it is vital to practice those two disciplines. Fasting should be seen with the same importance. Also, the early church followed the practice, in Acts 13:1-3. In fact, fasting has been practiced by Christians all around the world throughout history.

How do you fast?

I suggest that the first time you fast, you try a 24-hour fast. That means you eat your dinner and then fast during breakfast and lunch and eat dinner. After that you can try longer fasts of 3 or 4 days and even longer. It is important to make sure you are medically OK to do this and monitor yourself during the fast.

I suggest that you drink a little less caffeine and drink fruit juice when you need it. The fruit juice will help you get through some of the tough times of the fast. You will get light headaches (these are minor and the juice will help) and you will feel hungry during meal times. Your body doesn’t need the food; it is just conditioned to having it at certain times during the day.

Most importantly, what should you pray about?

At times, it is easy to forget about the need to pray when we are fasting. Make sure you are taking time to do some extra praying and seeking of God during the fast. God has prepared a feast for you to enjoy during the fast. The only way you are going to get it is if you step up to the table and eat.

When you pray, take time to pray for more of God. As you hunger for food, redirect that hunger into a hunger for Him. Jesus told us in Matthew 9:14-15 that we will fast in these days because we will miss His Presence. Long for His Presence as you fast. Couple this hunger you have for Him with a hunger for His Word. Chew on the opening verses of Deuteronomy 8. I believe Jesus meditated on these verses when He was fasting in the wilderness (He quoted them to Satan).

God also could be giving you this time of fasting to seek His wisdom on a certain issue in your life. We find the church doing this in Acts 13:1-3. Bring the issue before Him and ask Him to reveal His will.

May God bless you as you hunger and feast for Him. I highly recommend it.

Seeing God's face

2011-03-17T14:15:00.002-04:00

Have you ever wondered what the face of God will look like? He made us in His image, so it might be safe to assume that His face will have characteristics like ours. We also know that when God the Son came to this earth, He chose to come as one of us. So, it does seem probable that God’s face might be similar to ours.

Or, maybe not. God is spirit. So maybe His face is not like ours. Maybe our face has been formed in such a way that reflects not His characteristics but His character. Who knows?

I don’t know what His face will look like, but I do know this—I can’t wait to see it. But not because I am interested in the characteristics of God’s face. No, I want to see His face because I want to be in His Presence. I want to know more about Him. I long to gaze into His beauty. I want to love Him.

As I write these last words, I stop and am amazed how God has put this desire to be with Him in me and in all His people. On this earth we get the privilege of being in relationship with Him. Like other relationships, the more we are with Him the more we love Him. And that love turns into a deep desire that can’t get enough.

But there are things that stop this, aren’t there? There are road blocks in our way. Just writing this makes me angry at myself. I recognize all the things I have done to hurt this relationship. I haven’t changed God’s love for me, yet there are times when I run because I am scared or because I have sinned. There are times when I believe the lies that say I am not good enough.

On top of that, we have God’s holiness. He is so holy, so perfect, so set apart, so above us, that we—with our sin-cannot be in His Presence. His holiness will not allow it, and we would not be able to handle it. God said to Moses, who was with Him on the mountain, “you cannot see My face, for man shall not see Me and live” (Exodus 33:19). If Moses cannot see Him, I don’t stand a chance.

Then there is prayer. I love prayer, but it’s not enough. As good as it is, I want more. It’s like that telephone call you get when you are away. It’s good, but it makes you long to be in the presence of that person and have a face-to-face conversation.

The great news is there will come a time when we will be in His Presence. Then, all of our longings and desires that God has created and stoked will be fulfilled. Paul recognized those same desires—obviously, I learned about this through him. Paul wrote about these longings and their fulfillment in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

I can’t wait for that time, can you? We will get to see Him. God will transform us so that we will have eyes that will be able to see Him. We will have a mind that will be able to know Him. We will have a heart that will not stop loving him.

Can you imagine that time? We will no longer struggle with our sin. We will understand and embrace God’s promises. We will understand God’s love and care for us. And we will be able to love Him in return. We will be able to go after Him with all that we have and not have any road blocks.

Now, we see glimpses. We look through fuzzy, sin-fogged-up lenses. Then we will see face to face.

I can’t wait.

I Can Relate

2011-03-09T13:15:00.002-05:00

When I read about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, there is not much I can relate to. I don’t know what it is like to be able to think or act without the traces of sin. I don’t know what it is like to see God’s creation without sin. I look forward to the day when I will understand more about Adam’s life. I long for the day when I will be with God, face-to-face in heaven.

Unfortunately, though, there is one aspect of Adam’s story that I can relate to. After Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, we are told, their eyes were opened. They saw their sin. They felt what they had done. They knew they were naked. They knew they were exposed.

We are told that they heard the sound of God walking in the garden. They then hid (Genesis 3:8). They couldn’t bear to be in God’s Presence and hoped that He would not find them that evening. Sadly, this is where I can relate.

I know what fleeing God’s Presence feels like. I know the feelings of shame and guilt. I know the pain in the gut. I have heard the lie that tells me I am unworthy to be a son. I have believed them at times. I have kept my face down at times because I didn’t want to look up at my loving Father. I, like Adam, have wanted to run away and hide.

But, what comfort there is in this story. God comes to Adam and Eve. He knew they had sinned. He knew the guilt and shame they felt. He knew they probably wanted to run. He knew they would feel unworthy to face Him.

Yet God still comes and shows His face. He rebuilds the relationship. He deals with the consequences of their actions and restores them so they can again seek His face. He even clothes them afterwards as a sign of His care and protection. God was wronged and yet He still came to them.

Ash Wednesday reminds us of this part of our relationship with God. We are reminded first and foremost that the Father keeps coming for His prodigal children. We hear the story again of a loving Father who sent His only Son, Jesus, to the Cross. We live again in the story of God’s forgiveness and grace.

This love allows us to come to Him with all our faults, our missteps and our willful wrong steps. We can come to God because we know He forgives. We know His desire is to restore the relationship. He shows us the path we need to take so that we can seek His face.

Yes I know what it means to hide from His Presence. I also know the joy of being restored and strengthened with resolve to do better.

A Hike

2011-03-03T08:38:00.002-05:00

Luis led us up the stairs towards his family home. When I say he led us up stairs, I mean, he led us on a twenty-minute climb up stairs, rocks, make-shift stairs and gravel. It was not for the faint of heart. The climb led us, of course, to the house at the top—although I would never call it a house, but more on that later.

Knowing what I know now about the family we were visiting, I am even more amazed at the climb and what this family must do to survive ever day. Every day, Luis’s mother goes down to get water for the family. She carries the water in a five-gallon bucket up the long steep climb. That water is used for everything and only lasts a day. She must do everything over again the next day. Just to get water. I can’t even begin to imagine all of the other trips that need to be made to get other things, never mind how she carries the baby.

How do I describe their living situation? A shack is too good. Looking at the structure reminded me of the forts that my brother and I used to make. We would use anything we could find. The walls were made with cardboard, plastic and bamboo. The floor was dirt and the roof was corrugated plastic. It was about 8 x 15 feet. It has one single bed, a few chairs, a card table, and a blanket as the door. Seven of them sleep in this place. No running water. No electricity.

Both the oldest son and the father work. They rent rickshaws that they use as taxis. They pull in about 7 dollars a day. That is not enough. They share one meal a day. One meal. One meal of rice with a few vegetables. I can’t imagine the hunger pains. I can’t imagine watching the children go hungry and know that you cannot feed them. Honestly, I don’t want to think about it.

I didn’t know what to say to this family. What hope could I give? Yes, the family can be saved by God. Yes, God will be with them. But those words seemed so hollow, especially from a rich American like me.

I know God provides. I know He does more than I can even begin to understand. I know He provided manna in the wilderness. I know God will give them abundantly.

What hope does the Gospel bring in this situation? What about the necessities of life like clean water, food or electricity?

Over the next few days I heard some answers to some of those questions. I learned how Compassion International is working with the churches to provide hope to children in extreme poverty. I began a relationship with a church that carries these burdens every day.

I came away with many questions about the people I met and more questions for myself. I came away with hope. Gospel hope. God can meet the needs of Luis and his family through churches and individuals.

Louie the Llama

2011-02-22T04:40:00.002-05:00

My wife Christy and I are off for Peru. Our church is beginning a partnership with a church in Peru through Compassion International. This trip will be the first of many by our church as we seek to partner with this special church and learn from them. We are excited to meet with the people and see the wonderful work they are doing.

When I think of Peru, I think of llamas. We used to raise llamas on the farm. They were wonderful to have and would always protect the other animals. We would take some of them for walks and even used their wool a few times.

The first llama we owned was from a zoo in Maine. We named him Fernando Llamas. It took him a while to warm up to us because he was not used to people. However, over time he became a fixture at the farm.

I remember building a wonderful shelter for Fernando with my brother Casey and my Dad. We worked many hours on that shelter. We were proud of it. It was not a palace but it was a great home.

Can I tell you how frustrated we all were on that first snowy night when Fernando refused to go in his shelter? He slept outside in the snow. Most llamas sleep outside, but we didn't like it. From that day forward Fernando had a new name. We called him Louie, short for Loser.

Louie would get out whenever he wanted, which wasn’t often. I remember one time in particular. We searched and searched for him. But he was nowhere to be found. Finally, the police received a call from someone who saw a “horse” out in the marsh about a mile away. The police called us. Actually, they always called us when someone phoned in a sighting of a weird animal.

We drove down our street to the marsh and tried to coax Louie out. He would not budge. He was stubborn like that. Whenever we got close, he would run away.

My mom got an idea. We grabbed one of the pygmy goats, put her in the back of the van and drove to the marsh. When we got there, we opened the back door and tried to get the goat to scream. Can I tell you how hard it is to make a goat scream when they don’t want to?

Well, the goat screamed and Louie heard it. She screamed again and Louie came running toward us. But how would we get him back to the farm? He was too big to put in the van and we couldn’t pull him for that distance.

The first parade on Ferry Road in Salisbury happened that day. The police blocked traffic at the farm so that Louie would not get scared. Then we slowly drove back in the van toward the farm. I am sure the neighbors tell stories to this day. They watched a van drive 5 miles an hour down the street with its back door open. In the back of the van was a goat being squeezed by a teenager, trying to get it to scream. The next float in the parade was Louie the Llama. He was walking proudly right down the road on the yellow line. Finally, a police car with its lights on followed.

Good old Louie. I miss him. He provided many stories around the table. He also taught us the need for community. We sometimes need a friend who can lead us home.

Big Wind

2011-02-16T10:23:00.002-05:00

Monday night, after we put the boys to bed, Christy and I sat in the kitchen. After a while we noticed the wind howling outside. The trees were shaking—it was really blowing. We then went online to figure out what the wind was like on Mount Washington. It was gusting up to 98 mph! (I love wild weather.) That is some wind!

Later, as I thought about the wind, I was drawn to some of the biblical stories where the people of God experienced the wind. I thought of the disciples in the boat when the wind and waves buffeted them. I imagined the scene when Elijah was in the cave waiting for the voice of God. I wondered how strong the wind was that God hurled at the boat that Jonah was on.

Mostly, though, I imagined the scene when the Israelites were on the shores of the Red Sea after leaving Egypt. Do you remember the story? The Israelites were given permission to leave Egypt by Pharaoh. Pharaoh had seen enough of God’s power. Yet he changed his mind right after the Israelites left. He pursued them with his army and was ready to annihilate them. With the Egyptian army on one side and the Red Sea the other, the Israelites thought they were left with just two options: run or fight. Both options seemed to lead to slaughter.

Then God gave them a third. He would save them in a way that no one ever would expect. He brought a strong east wind that split open the Red Sea. That is some wind!

I wonder if the Israelites’ perspective on wind changed after that. Instead of being scared by the wind, I think the wind reminded them of God’s salvation. The wind caused them to think of God’s greatness. The wind became a constant reminder of God and His activity in their lives.

Oh Lord, would you bring that same wind! Would you remind us of Your greatness, Your power, and Your saving love? Would you do it again, Lord? Yes, that is what I want, Lord. I want You, no, we need You, come again and revive Your great Name. Like Moses we pray, “Show us Your glory.”

I long for revival, don’t you. I long to see God’s greatness and power among us. I want to be able to tell stories to my grandchildren about how God came amongst us and did things they we never expected.

You know, I have to chuckle. A thought just came to me. My son loves to listen to the praise music that is played in Keith Jones Hall. He calls it BIG WIND. Worship and big wind—what a combination!

Yes, big wind, that is what we need, Lord. A wind sent by You that reveals Your salvation. That would be some wind! That would be BIG WIND!

Enjoyment

2011-02-09T12:38:00.001-05:00

Eli’s birthday was last week. He saw the cake and his eyes lit up. Before the cake was even placed before him, his finger dove in and scooped out as much frosting as he could hold. The smile on his face described his joy, and he dove in for more. He tried the spoon. Good, but even the spoon could not hold enough frosting for his tastes. He tried to pick up the whole piece of cake, but it was stuck to the plate. He tried to put his whole face in the frosting, still not enough. Finally he grabbed the plate and got the whole piece of cake in his face.

Eli’s face was a green and white mess, yet no one thought he looked messy. He was thoroughly enjoying the cake. He tasted the cake. He felt the cake. He wore the cake. He experienced the cake. He was in love.

I thought of what Eli was doing and noticed how the rest of us were eating the cake. Compared to Eli, we were quite reserved. We ate it as grownups—with dignity and no mess. We used forks. When we got a little frosting on the corner of our mouth, we politely wiped it off, hoping no one would see it. We enjoyed the cake, but I can’t say we were in love with it the way Eli was.

I thought later about Jesus and our love relationship with Him. I wondered how eating the cake tied in. I remembered Eli’s full involvement in the cake. I think he cherished every bite. For him, it was an experience. Me, I can’t even remember what it tasted like.

Why is it that when we grow more mature in our faith, we can fall into the temptation of having a nice relationship with Jesus. An eat-with-your-fork-all-clean-and-dignified relationship with Jesus. Is that what He wants from us? Or does He want something more along the lines of the love relationship between Eli and the cake?

Why do we have a hard time being exuberant in our relationship with Jesus? Why do we fear what others might think of us? Why do we settle for the casual, the convenient?

I look on the wall of my study and see a painting of the woman who poured perfume on Jesus’ feet. Then she wiped off the excess with her hair. I can hear the gasps even now: That is not right. That is not appropriate.

She poured out her love for Jesus. She loved recklessly without inhibition. She was messy like Eli was messy. Yet both of them looked beautiful.

How can I be in love with Jesus? How can I enjoy my relationship with Him? Is it with fork and napkin or hands full in? I think I know the answer. Lord, I’m diving in!

An Icy Surprise

2011-01-26T11:22:00.000-05:00

There I was, standing in my snowshoes, trying to figure out if I could make the jump over the creek in the marsh. I was about to go and then I hesitated. What if I fall? I don’t want to get muddy. Then I caught myself, scolded myself. Where is your sense of adventure, of wonder, of exploration? What surprise might God have in store for you?

I made the jump. It was much easier than I thought. Where was that fear coming from anyways?

I walked around on the marsh behind my parents home and thanked God for His beauty. The snow and ice had hardened to the point where I was able to go deeper into the marsh than before.

I came to a bend in the river where I could see it widening and heading out to the ocean. Over the years the ocean has carved out a channel with lots of deep bends as the ocean probed farther into the marsh.

What a beautiful sight! There was thick ice covering the channel. It was low tide and the ice was sunk down, lying against the bottom of the channel. It had hardened and was cracked.

And then I heard a crack. The tide was coming in. I got quiet. I heard cracks all around me where the water was pushing up against the ice. It sounded like ice cubes hitting the side of a glass followed by a slight gush of water.

Then I stopped, knelt down and listened closely.

I thought of the places that were hardened and cracked in my life—those places that I had sealed over and shut up. Those wounds that I wanted to cover. God wanted His grace to push against the ice so that He could bring life and change.

Then I remembered that this was the place in the marsh where we normally swam. This is the place where we played in God’s beautiful creation as we dove into the cool refreshing marsh during the hot summer.

I listened more.

I noticed how I used those wonderful experiences to form my expectations of how God works. I noticed how I built my own theological framework of the spiritual life. I wondered if these, too, were thick ice lying against the channel in the deep of winter.

Does God want to do something new? Does God want to re-form my expectations of what He desires to do in my life? Is a new tide coming in?

What are you inviting me to do, God? What am I holding back from You? What areas of my life are you probing so You can go further in?

After some time, I came back to that creek. It was an easy jump now. I turned back to see where I had gone and said, “Start a new adventure, God. Break my life open. Push against the ice. Would you bring in new life?”

Saying Goodbye to a Friend

2011-01-12T19:35:00.002-05:00

Saying goodbye is hard, extremely hard.

Last week I said goodbye to a good friend. Christy introduced me to him a little over ten years ago. We hit it off quickly. A better friend I have not had. What follows is a letter to him.

I can’t believe I have to say goodbye. You have been so close—in fact, closer than I expected. There wasn’t a day that we didn’t connect. You were there to celebrate both of my sons’ births. We went on mission trips together. You even went with me on vacation.

It was you who helped me to see God’s love for me and His plan for me. You had a deep understanding of what God wanted from me. Sometimes you revealed that to me in your gentle compassionate way, and then there were those times when you were not so gentle. You were right every time and I am the better man for it.

Even now as I think of you, I am still amazed at how well you knew me. In fact, I think you knew me better than I knew myself. You knew when I needed that word of encouragement. You also knew when I needed to be pushed off my high horse. Oh, when I think of those things that you had to say to me. I wish I had the same wisdom to deal with others around me as the way you dealt with me.

You were always the first one I called when I was going through a tough time. You lifted me up when I was not strong enough. You heard my complaints. You listened, and after I was done, only then did you share your insights. God chose you above everyone else to be the conduit to hear His voice.

I will always cherish the time we had together. It saddens me that others do not know you or spend time with you. They miss out. In fact, I wonder how anyone can hear God’s voice without your guidance.

Goodbye Bible. Your binding is broken and I need to replace you. It took months for me to follow through with this, but I have to do it.

I have a new friend. I trust that he too will lead me to God. I know that he will hold true to all of the same promises.

Relentless Resolutions

2011-01-05T16:45:00.001-05:00

relentless /ri léntləss/ adj. 1. ceaseless and intense: never slackening, but continuing always at the same intense, demanding, or punishing level.

I read about Paul and his writings and I think of this word—relentless. Dogged determination. Persistent. Tenacious. Passionate. Single-minded devotion. These are the words that come to mind when I read about Paul’s consuming desire to know Jesus and be like Him.

I hear it in Paul’s words to the Philippians in 3:12-14, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” I have not obtained. I press on. I strain forward. I picture Paul like an Olympic athlete who is pushing herself to win the gold. And the gold for Paul is a relationship with Jesus Christ and all that comes with it.

I wonder what motivated him to be relentless? What was it that made him an addict for Jesus Christ? Why couldn’t he settle? Most of us would love half of his spiritual devotion. Was he a perfectionist? What made Him this way?

I believe it is two things. First, I think he couldn’t get enough of Jesus. He sees Jesus as the most beautiful Being in the universe, and he is helplessly in love. Second, I think Jesus has made him this way. I think the Holy Spirit is enabling him to see Jesus’ beauty and is pushing him closer and closer to Jesus.

I read about Paul’s relentlessness and I find it contagious. I want it. I want to see what He sees and I want, no I need, that same drive to go hard after Jesus. I want to press on. I want to strain forward. I want to live out Paul’s words. I want more of Jesus in my life.

This is why I love New Year’s resolutions. It gives me another opportunity to have new goals that will push me harder. It reminds me to be relentless. It helps me to take stock of my life so that I can lay aside every weight and sin, which clings so closely, and run with endurance the race set before me. Resolutions motivate me to see how I can focus more on Jesus and fulfill His calling in my life.

This year I have three resolutions. Three ways that I am going to press on and draw closer to the love of my life, Jesus. Three ways that I believe will help me say like Jesus, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work” (John 4:34). These goals are not physical or financial but are spiritual character goals. They are not about doing but about being. They are resolutions that I believe can help me be more like Jesus.

My first resolution is to grow in humility. I am guessing that some people might read this the wrong way. I do not think I am filled with pride and I am seeking some way to be humbled. I don’t think I am, but maybe God is nudging me to see my blind spot. I don’t know. I do know this though, humility is not the quality people think it is. Most people link it with penitence or even how one relates to others. Yet, Andrew Murray, in his book entitled Humility, defines it as “the place of entire dependence on God.” When I think of humility, I think of Moses, who was said to be the most humble man on the earth (Numbers 12:3). More importantly, I think of humility and I am reminded when Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. The text that is often quoted to describe this is Zechariah 9:9, where the rider of the donkey is said to be humble. Jesus was humble when He rode into Jerusalem. Jesus was humble when everyone wanted to make Him king. He was humble because He was riding into Jerusalem fully prepared to fulfill God’s plan. I too want God to take over every inch of my being and declare it His. I want to be like Jesus and be humble.

I also want to be someone who grows in encouragement. I want to be someone who can encourage others to go hard after God. I do not want to go at it alone. I want others around me. I want others leading me. I want to be able to encourage them to be all that God wants them to be. I want to be like Joseph, a native of Cyprus, who was such an encourager that the apostles renamed him Barnabas, which means “son of encouragement “(Acts 4:36). I don’t know if I will be such that others will rename me, but I want to encourage others.

Finally, I want to grow deeper in my prayer life. This year I want to focus on praying through the Psalms. For thousands of years, Christians have used the Psalms as the guide and textbook for prayer. The Psalms are people’s prayer responses to what God has done in their lives. I believe God has surprising things to teach me this year about Himself and myself. I believe I will find some of those answers as I listen to Him in the Psalms.

I hope these resolutions will make me relentless. I desire to do them not so that I can be a better man, although I pray that God would work that in me. No, I desire to be more like Jesus. I hope these resolutions will ultimately work their way out in my life so that people see less of me and more of Jesus. I am going to forget what lies behind and strain forward towards Jesus.

2011, here I come!

Photo by Dave Gilbert

Reflecting on the Beauty of this Past Year

2010-12-30T07:31:00.005-05:00

It might be cold and snowy outside, but inside the paperwhites are starting. I love having bulbs grow this time of the year. It reminds me of the beginning of a new season of life. God is always doing something new. He is always tilling the ground in order to start new life.

This is also the time of the year when I look back on the growth that God has done in my life. Every time I go on the internet these days, there seems to be some story that tries to capture the best of the past year. In a similar way, I want to capture the best that God has given me this past year. Some of it is fun and some of it is hard, yet they are all precious gifts from God.

Someone close to me said to me, "I thank God that you are still standing." Yes, what a year. As Christy and I drove into the parking lot of the church the other night, we were reminded of the first time we came to the church. We cannot believe what God has done and continues to do in us and around us.

This past year is our first year of home ownership. Oh, the work that was done to get this house finished. The joys of home ownership. How much will it cost to do this project? Will the roof hold up for a few more months? Like so many other home owners, I am so thankful we have a warm house to live in and I pray that others would be kept warm by our loving God.

There is the joy of having a family that loves me and supports me. What a gift God has given me. I enter the house and have two boys running towards me, happy to have me home. And then there is the exhaustion. Please go back to sleep boys, please. They make up for it in many other ways. Building legos, wrestling on the floor, reading books together--I love those moments.

Of course I cannot forget the photographer. Don't tell her this, but I am still shocked she chose to marry me. I hope she doesn't change her mind. I would be lost without her. She keeps me going and has held me up many times during the year.

I am blessed with a fabulous team around me. I remember being away on retreat and reading my journal from past years. I longed to be part of community that would journey together towards God. I am now part of that community. I have a group around me that support me as well as inspire me to go deeper with God. They are the ones that make me look better than I am. Whether it is putting together a bulletin, keeping the finances stable, or leading one of the many ministries, they honor God and the church with their many gifts. We are all blessed by them.
God has also given me the gifts that I did not ask for. To be honest at the beginning I did not like them. Yet, through pain and struggle I rejoice in the situations that God has used to bring me closer to Him. He keeps pulling me into His presence. And, whatever way He chooses, I am learned contentment and thankfulness.

During this past year, God has worked in spite of me. He keeps pushing me and stretching me. He makes me uncomfortable of where my walk is with Him. I hear His voice calling me to go deeper and further. I have so many more things to show you. There are more flowers that must bloom.

I can't wait to see them God.

Hallelujah!

2010-12-15T10:59:00.002-05:00

On Sunday I listened to the glorious “Hallelujah” chorus (I chose not to sing because I did not want to ruin it for everyone else.) As I was listening here are the images that flooded this disciple’s imagination:

Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah

Angels are bursting onto the scene to catch a glimpse of this glorious moment. Their joy cannot be contained as they sing in amazement. They have to tell someone. The world must know. God has come to this earth. He has come to save His people. And He has come as a baby. Who could have ever expected this?

Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah

The only words that fit their excitement and their need to worship: “Glory to God in the highest.” They keep singing and worshiping as they think: “What a God! What a King!”

King of kings forever and ever hallelujah hallelujah

Jesus walks back into the throne room for the first time since His journey to earth. He turns the corner and sees His Dad. He runs to Him and His Father meets Him half way. They embrace and shed tears of joy.

“I did it, Dad, I did it. We saved them. They can come home. I did it.”

The Father takes a step back and grabs Jesus’ shoulders and looks Him in the eye, “Yes you did, Son. I am so proud of You. You did it.”

The Father then grabs Jesus again, pulls Him closer, and embraces Him, “I missed you.”

And He shall reign for ever and ever

I am in the throne room of heaven. What a place. Words cannot describe what I see. We do not have words in our human language to describe this sort of beauty.

I am surrounded by saints. There are many happy, tearful reunions and wonderful introductions. We are all catching up with one another, when suddenly a trumpet is heard. It’s the sound of the arrival we have all been waiting for. Everyone turns to see the huge doors open to the throne room. There are multiple herald trumpets with vibrant flags. The King has arrived.

When Jesus walks in there is an eruption of sound. All of us burst out in song.

Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah

What a joy it is to sing, not for singing’s sake but for love and awe. What I have in me cannot be suppressed. Worship must come out and comes out in song.

Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah

He looks great. He looks regal, majestic. A King. The King.

King of kings forever and ever hallelujah hallelujah

and Lord of lords forever and ever hallelujah hallelujah

He strides up the royal steps toward the throne. His Father is watching Him and He is beaming. After an embrace from His Father, He sits on the throne. It is perfect, meant to be. The song gets louder.

And He shall reign
He shall reign
And he shall reign forever and ever

The Heavenly Kingdom has begun.

Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah

This Advent, may you draw closer to our King and may you long for the unsurpassable joy of His return.

Com Thou Fount of Every Blessing

2010-12-08T06:59:00.002-05:00

On Sunday, when I was sitting at the Communion table, I saw a name of someone which reminded me of a story, a deep prayer, and a hymn.

You might have noticed the silver goblet we use in Communion during the traditional services. On it is this engraving:

Rev. Caleb J. Tenney D.D.

Pastor

Mar 24^th 1816 Jan 12^th 1841

I don’t know much about Dr. Tenney, but I do know about an account he wrote of what he saw in our church over 175 years ago. Apparently, God was moving in the land and He visited our church as well. Rev. Tenney realized he needed help, so he reached out to a friend named Asahel Nettleton. Rev. Nettleton came to preach and work in this church for four months in 1821.

Asahel Nettleton was very influential during the Second Great Awakening. It was estimated that thirty thousand people came to faith during his ministry. When he went to preach in a pulpit like ours, he did it differently than revival preachers of today. He would move into a community and for several weeks would study the spiritual condition of the people. After that he would do extensive preaching alongside the ministry of the pastor.

During Nettleton’s stay in Wethersfield, Rev. Tenney wrote that the church added over two hundred to the church. Whole families came to faith, and one man said, “If I have ever been born of God, it was on the day I was seventy-six years old.” A pastor from Newington said that even his congregation “heard with awe of what God was doing.” Years later, Rev. Tenney wrote, “Here, and in this section of the country, God has illustriously displayed His perfections in the work which is emphatically His” (taken from Nettleton’s biography written by Bennet Tyler).

I read those words and I hunger for God to display His perfections among us again. My heart is moved to prayer.

Oh God, would you please come down and do it again. Would you bring glory to your Name. We want Your Presence, Lord, we need it. Please send down Your Holy Spirit into our midst so that we might honor You as we ought. Draw close to us, please, Lord. We want to see You work. There are so many that are lost and in need of Your love. Please come.

I could go on but I believe there are better words that speak of my longing from one of my favorite hymns. The tune of that hymn was written by Asahel Nettleton. I am sure you can sing it as well.

Come Thou Fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above;

Praise His Name—I’m fixed upon it

Name of God’s unchanging love.

Oh Lord Jesus, you are the Fount of all our blessings. Would you pour out Your streams of never ending mercy again.

I had a wonderful time at the Communion table. I met Jesus and I wanted more of Him. Can you imagine what it would be like if He visited this place again?

Expectancy

2010-12-02T13:52:00.003-05:00

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

I agree. This is my favorite time of the church year. I love the focus of the season of Advent. I need the reminder to wait and long for Jesus. I read the stories of those who did it before Jesus birth and it brings me to a deeper devotion.

It has always been a special time for me, but a number of years ago, the depth of my understanding grew. During that December we realized we were pregnant with Sam.

I say “we” because we all know that men do all the work. By using “we”, it allows me to include Christy in some of the pregnancy. Oh, and one more thing, I am not dropping a hint, WE ARE NOT PREGNANT.

That Advent was completely different. I understood the emotions of Mary and Joseph in a completely new way. Like Mary and Joseph, we were expectant. We were excited and we dreamed about what God would do. All the texts came alive, and my prayers were filled with longing and anticipation.

Advent calls us to be expectant. It is a season of waiting. This waiting, though, is different. This is not like waiting in line at the DMV. This is not one of those never-ending I hope we get out of here soon types of waiting. This is waiting with expectancy. It is counting off the days until the due date. It is exciting.

I remember that December was filled with such joy and imaginative hope. My mind would race at times, thinking about what God was going to do. Who would the baby look like? Boy or girl? What character qualities will come out? I can’t wait to hold the baby! I imagine that Joseph and Mary had those same thoughts, wild with excitement.

During the final weeks of the pregnancy there was excited readiness. The bags were packed for the hospital. The cell phone was on. We were ready to go. It was so exciting because any moment could be THE moment. During Advent we have that same readiness. The truth is that Jesus can return any moment. And so we are to be ready. The waiting might not be long, and THIS moment could be the moment.

As I am writing these words and remembering that December, I wonder why this can’t be more of the reality of my Christian life. Why can’t I live a more expectant life? Why can’t I have more of that excitement and imaginative hope of His return? Why do I need Advent to remind me of something that I am already supposed to be living?

Those are all tough questions for me, with some complex answers. But I don’t want to wait any longer to get my faith in gear. I need a jump-start now. So I am really excited for Advent. I am going to use this time to increase my fervor and passion for Jesus. I want to ache for Him and be excited for His coming. I want to be expectant and look for His presence in the here and now. I am going to follow Mary and Joseph and all the others and long for Him to come right now.

I love Advent.

The picture is our new ad that is going to be featured online at the Hartford Courant. When someone clicks it at the Courant it will take them to our website where they will see more information.

Holy Space

2010-11-24T10:44:00.004-05:00

I am excited about Thanksgiving. How could we not be? It is a day to set aside to be with family and friends. On Thanksgiving we are encouraged to eat more not less. We can take a nap. It is a day to give thanks to God for all of His blessings. Thanksgiving should be every day.

I have many reasons to be thankful. I have a tremendous family. I have good health. I have a wonderful staff and a loving church family.

This year we are going to the family farm for Thanksgiving. Like everyone else, I drive up the driveway and a flood of memories washes over me. I remember putting plastic on a greenhouse on Thanksgiving when my hands froze and we almost blew away. I remember cutting wood and lighting a fire in the fireplace. I remember endless games of cribbage with my brother, father and grandfather. I remember giving something extra to the animals so that they could enjoy the feast as well.

One of the things I am most thankful for at the farm is the woods. Our farm is near the ocean and abuts the marsh. It has a few ponds, a number of fields and a wooded area that surrounds most of it.

Whenever I am at the farm I always take a walk in the woods so that I can pray. I have walked through the woods so many times and I have wrestled with so many issues on those walks.

Also, God has graciously given me triggers out there to remind me of His goodness. I walk by the stream and am reminded of the Holy Spirit. I see an owl and I ask for wisdom. I spot the deer tracks and long for God like the deer pants for the stream. I hear the waves crashing and I meditate on God’s power.

God has blessed those woods for me. He has made it a holy space. I believe God sets aside holy spaces in our lives. For me, there is the prayer cave in Lindisfarne, the loveseat in Woburn, and the bench behind the pulpit.

A holy space is a space where the presence of God seems more vibrant. It is a space that is usually cultivated by lots of prayer. It is a place where the space between heaven and earth seems very thin. In these spaces God grants us a deep awareness and a listening ear.

This Holy Space in the woods invites me, almost calls me, to spend time with God. And because it has been so prayed into, I find it easier to connect with God. There is no easing into prayer out in the woods. There is not a need to. I can bypass introductions and small talk and go right into the deep stuff.

I am so thankful God creates Holy Spaces. More importantly, I am grateful that God communicates to us. He loves to talk to His disciples and He loves to hear from His disciples. He wants the conversation. He desires to speak into our lives. He does not leave us out there to figure out things ourselves. He guides us every step of the way.

I will get to the farm on Thanksgiving and the memories will flood over me of all the wonderful prayer times out in the woods. I can’t wait to get back out there and walk with God. I need it. I crave it. I am thankful for it.

Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer

Guideposts

2010-11-17T07:28:00.002-05:00

Cuthbert lived on the northeast coast of England in the 600s. It is said that one night he was out in the fields taking care of sheep when he saw the soul of Bishop Aidan of Lindisfarne being lifted up to heaven by the angels. He abandoned the work of being a shepherd and became a monk. Later he became the bishop of Lindisfarne himself.

Lindisfarne is often called the Holy Island because of the monastery that was there. It is a beautiful place where you can definitely sense God’s presence. It is a tidal island, which means that it is an island during high tide but not during low tide.

You can drive to Lindisfarne when the tide is low. You can also walk. There is a series of poles, placed about 50 yards apart, that lead you across the bay. They are that close together because of the fog that sometimes is so dense you can see only a few poles ahead of you. The poles are called the Pilgrim’s Way, and it is claimed that they mark the approximate path Cuthbert took to reach the island.

Although we cannot see them, God has put out poles to direct our path. He wants us to follow the path taken by His son, Jesus. And Jesus Himself leads us on this journey. He calls us to follow Him. He has and will direct and guide us every step of the way.

There are times when this journey is great and the direction is clear. Those times have not been in my life often, but they are there. Boy, these times are so special. I wish I could stay and enjoy those moments forever. And gratefully, I will someday.

Most of the time though, I have a hard time going forward. There are a number of reasons for it. Sometimes I can’t get out of my own way. Sometimes the fog is so thick that I feel lost. Other times the mud of the bay makes the way tough.

About a year and a half ago, I felt like I was in one of those tough times. I had just received a phone call from the search committee at First Church. At the time, I was the pastor of a church in Massachusetts. I remember the long walk I had after that call. I was stuck. I couldn’t see the next pole. I didn’t know where to go. To make matters worse, my emotions were screaming at me.

I knew that God was leading me to take one of three directions. God could be leading me to First Church. That was both scary and exciting on a number of levels. I remember thinking, “ Are You sure that You are talking to the right guy? Am I ready? I’d better find out more about this church.”

The second option was that God was going to use the interview process to lead me to another church. In many ways, this seemed more logical. It would be an easier step to take.

Finally, I realized that God could be using this process to reinforce my commitment and call to the church I was already pastoring. In many ways, I wanted this option. I love the people there and I so wanted to be a part of God’s plan for transformation.

I can’t tell you how many walks I took over those next weeks. I walked with one precious truth in mind. Isaiah 30:21 reads, “Your ears will hear a word behind you, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right or to the left.” I knew Jesus would lead me to the next pole. I knew I couldn’t see it, but I was sure that He could.

For a while, I walked in the fog, clinging to Jesus. I didn’t know which direction He would take me. I trusted He would give me the strength to go with Him. He always has, even when it is painful.

There are poles out there. They all connect. They reveal to us the path that Jesus has chosen to walk with us. Look for that next pole.

The Open WIndow

2010-11-10T10:41:00.002-05:00

I remember the moment well. It was a spring afternoon and I was upstairs reading. I was reading a book on evangelism. I was excited to be thinking and learning about evangelism, and I was hoping this book would motivate me even more to get out and witness to my neighbors. I began to pray for myself and for my neighbors. I was on the way.

Meanwhile, my wife, Christy, was downstairs while I was reading. Suddenly, I heard her open the window and begin a conversation with our neighbor Shawn.

It was the usual conversation. Christy asked how the family was doing. She asked about coming over to visit later. A little further into the conversation, Christy asked Shawn, “Shawn, do you and the family want to go with us to church on Easter? We would love to have you.”

He smiled. “Sure, we would like that.”

In one instance, I have never felt so proud and so crushed. Here I was, reading about evangelism. I was motivating myself. I was preparing myself. I was going to go out and do it. Christy just opens up the window and speaks the words of life. Why couldn’t I do that?

Well, why can’t I do it? What is holding me back from opening up the window?

As I have had time to recover from my pride, I have learned some things about discipleship. In the years since that time, I have shifted my understanding of what makes witnessing work.

I realize now that witnessing is not necessarily about learning and mastering the arguments, but engaging and loving the person. Very rarely am I engaged in debates. More often I find that the questions that are asked of me are covering up the real questions people have on their minds. Usually their questions are not really about the existence of God or if the Bible is true. The real questions are “Can God love me?” or “Can He forgive me?” or “Do I really need God?” What others need in that moment is not an adversary but a trusted friend.

Witnessing is not so much about speaking but listening. How many times have I wanted to get my point across? But how many times have I lost the person in the process? People do not want to be told something—they want to be listened to. I have learned that the best way to love them and show them they have worth is by listening to them. By listening I am saying God thinks you are important and so do I.

Witnessing is not about one discussion but many conversations over time. Studies have shown that less than 15 percent of people come to faith in one moment. The rest of the people come to faith over a period of time. Also, more than ¾ of the people say it was a family member or friend who brought them to faith. People need a trusted friend who is willing to walk this journey to Jesus with them over time. I want to be that friend.

I want, no I need, to move from the books to the person. I have a great example at home to follow. I am going to follow her lead and open up the window.

How about you? Are you ready to open the window?

(Photo by Soham Banerjee)

Our Ancient Foe

2010-11-03T07:30:00.004-04:00

On Sunday, David Spicer led the worship with the hymn, “A Mighty Fortress is Our God.” It was a great arrangement by him. I had tears on the final verse as the choir sang the descant. Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also. Yes, Lord, have my life, have everything. The body they may kill: God’s truth abideth still, His kingdom is forever. You will always reign, Lord. Your Kingdom is forever.

It was excellent, David, excellent! You led me in worship. Thank you!

This hymn by Martin Luther highlights the fact that as we grow as disciples we have an enemy that is out to get us. His craft and power are great; and, armed with cruel hate. He does not want us to grow, and he definitely does not want others saved from his kingdom of darkness. He will fight and it is nasty.

We know from Scripture that he fights. We know he is out there fighting around the world. But is he here? Is he fighting us here when there seem to be more hot spots elsewhere?

There seem to be two major schools of thought in the U.S. One claims that Satan is not here or he only comes here periodically. The problems that we encounter in our life are the result of our sin or our weakness. Sure, there are enemies of the Gospel that are out there, but they seem to be more politically minded than satanic.

The other school thinks Satan is around every corner. Maybe not him directly, but at least his demons. If someone is lazy then it is a spirit of laziness that must be cast out. If there is a problem in the church, then there must be a spiritual attack.

I have heard both views and have been around people with these views. Neither view seems to be healthy. Satan is not at work in every problem, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t involved in some of our problems. Yes, his power is limited, but that doesn’t mean he has no power at all. Yes, my sin and my weaknesses hinder me, but he must enjoy making it harder to overcome them.

Satan must be at work, but how? Are we looking in the wrong places? Are we blaming others for what he is doing? How is he deceiving us? How is he fighting us?

Yes, in Jesus, we have the victory. Yes, Satan’s doom is sure. But he can’t be happy about it. He must be trying to bring others down with him. He must be out there trying to pick a fight.

What is a healthy view of spiritual warfare? How are we to fight him as disciples? Where do you see him at work?

Thankfully, we are given all the tools we need to discern all of these questions. The Holy Spirit is all we need. The Holy Spirit gives us the insight to know the difference between the enemy’s work and our sinful nature. If we ask God, He will provide.

Luther saw the Devil at work, do you?

(The picture is from David Gilbert. Yes his photography is excellent, but it doesn't come close to touching his character.)

My Struggle With Prayer

2010-10-27T07:35:00.001-04:00

I don’t know if there has ever been a time that I have felt comfortable with my prayer life. My struggle has not been because of lack of understanding but for lack of time. I don’t know if I can express my struggle in a story or in a bunch of sayings. What follows is my prayer, a disciple’s prayer, as I meditate on Luke 11:1, “Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when He finished, one of his disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.’”

Lord Jesus, the disciples had the privilege of watching You pray. Oh, what a privilege. I can only imagine. I would love to have seen You pray. I would love to hear You talk with Your Father. I would love to know what Your prayer was like—Your yearnings, Your praises, Your struggles, Your joy.

Lord, I wish I could have seen You because I would hope it would motivate me to pray more. Here I come again, Lord, with the same question the disciples had. Lord, teach me to pray. How many times have I asked this? I am sorry. You’d think I would have learned it by now. I feel like I keep flunking grade school and I am back trying to do it all over again.

As ashamed as I am to come again with this prayer, I can’t help but acknowledge that deep within me is a burning desire to be a pray-er. I read the accounts of biblical characters and other saints who have a deep prayer life and I want it, God, I really want it.

How much am I missing out on? How I long to be like John and cling to You and hear You speak. How I long to be in better tune with You. I want to honor You with this part of my life. I don’t want to run off and do things in my own strength. I want to be in deep connection with You. I want to be in prayer with You.

Have there been times that not only I but others have missed out on Your blessings because I have failed to spend sufficient time with You, praying for myself and for others? How much better could my preaching be? How much more aware could I be of what You are doing in others?

I know all of these things. I know how much more I can be in You. And yet, here I come again. I am sorry. Teach me how to pray.

Is there a secret, Lord, because I want it. Help me to pray more, to pray better, and to pray more often. Give me more grace, Lord, because if we are going to count on me, we won’t get anywhere. Lord, give me a deeper hunger. Will you put an ache in my heart that can only be healed by prayer? I desperately want to see You more in my life, more in our church, more in our community.

Lord, like Moses I pray, “Lord, show me Your glory!” I want to see Your glory come down to this place. Revive Your great Name. Make Yourself awesome in our midst. Send Your Holy Spirit to us, Lord. I know we want to be Your people who live like Your people. I know we want to be more like Jesus. I know we want to see the dry bones live. Lord, bring revival not for my sake, not for the church’s sake, but for Your sake. Bring glory to Your Name. Lord, I want to see revival in our land, and I know You ask us to pray for it, so I am praying.

Lord, here I come again and ask You to teach me to pray. What You have is the desire of my heart. I know You can answer prayer. I know You ask me to pray. So here I come, Lord. Teach me to pray, Lord Jesus. Teach me to pray!

Jumping In

2010-10-12T07:42:00.002-04:00

Sam and Eli love going to see our neighbors. They also love going in our neighbor’s pool. It provides fun times of splashing and playing catch as well as a great way to cool off. They both enjoy jumping in the water, but there the similarities end.

Sam used to like running and jumping in the pool for me to catch him. Now he wants to play it safe. You can see him calculating everything before he jumps. It doesn’t matter that I am there to catch him, he can’t seem to will himself to take that leap of joy. Now it is a measured, grab-my-hand-first, tentative jump in the water.

Eli, on the other hand, jumps with reckless abandon and pure, contagious joy You would never know that Sam is older because this one-and-a-half-year-old runs and jumps in. He doesn’t seem to worry about his Dad being ready for him or not. He assumes that I will catch him. And so, with a great smile, he jumps and plunges to the bottom and then he kicks up. Only then do I grab him.

What a contrast. One boy sees his father, trusts, and jumps. The other boy sees his father, sees the pool, and hesitates.

You should know, it is not a surprise to me that they are both my boys. I want to be like Eli and jump in my Father’s arms, but too often I am like Sam and first scan the landing area and make sure it is safe if I am not caught—and then I jump.

I understand too well what Paul said in Romans 7:18, “For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.” There is a fight going on in my soul. Trust vs. Fear. Safety vs. Daredevil.

When Jesus called the disciples, He called them to follow Him. They heard His voice and they jumped. They listened and went. They didn’t ask the questions, they followed.

I know that, but I can’t seem to get my feet to move. I am quick to remind myself that Jesus asks us to follow Him while counting the cost. I use it as an excuse not to jump because too often I count the cost, worry about the cost and protect myself against the cost—and then say, “Jesus, I know You want me to follow You, can You come up here and get me because I don’t know if I can jump.”

The more I grow as a disciple, the more I realize that what is holding me back from following Him is not a lack of knowledge, nor is it a lack of skill, but it is a lack of will, the will to trust and jump.

Oh, I want to be more like Eli. But how? How can I be more bold, more trusting?

Not being on the ledge at the moment, some answers come to mind. (It is always easier to think when you are not on the ledge). I think of three things that might help me and any disciple of Jesus.

Reflect. Trust. Joy.

Reflect. There are a number of Psalms (78 and 105 are just two of them) where the Israelites seem to reflect on all of the blessings that God has poured out to them in the past. I believe they do this so that they will not forget that God has caught them and He will continue to catch them. For me this means that I need to have a journal of blessings so that when tough times come I do not have to fret but can remember God’s faithfulness and trust His ability moving forward.

Trust. Growing up near the ocean in northern Massachusetts, I learned a valuable lesson. When you want to go in the water, just run in and dive. If there is a dock, even better. Yes, you will freeze. But you will get over it really fast. This is better than torturing yourself for twenty minutes as you enter the water inch by inch. There are times when I should just jump into my Father’s arms. Not think about it. Not look down. Just jump. He will catch me. We all need to practice childlike trust. His words to His disciples on the last night from John 14:1 help us: “Do no let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in Me.” Trust me. Jump. I will catch you.

Joy. Oh how I miss that joy of jumping into my Father’s arms. There is such pleasure when He does catch me and love me, which He always does. Why do I forget about this? Yet I know I do. Yes, as we get older it seems easier to lose that childlike trust and pure, contagious joy. We become serious, for good reasons, but sometimes we need to exercise joy. There is joy in following Him and we must never forget it.

I don’t know about you, but I want another shot at jumping in. I want the experience of being caught so I can put it in the memory bank. I want the joy of being held. I want that childlike trust. I want to follow Jesus like the disciples.

Here I come, God. I am ready to jump.

God Still Speaks

2010-09-20T07:00:00.003-04:00

I have had the question asked me a number of times. “Does God still speak today?” That is usually followed by another question, “If He does still speak, why don’t I hear Him.”

For all of us there are times when we find it hard to hear God’s voice. We spend time alone with Him to listen. We seek Him in His word and we speak to Him in prayer. Yet there seems to be no response. I have been in that valley. I know the struggle of wanting to hear God’s voice and direction and coming up empty. That is not to say that I do not believe God is speaking. I believe God speaks to His children. And I also believe that God chooses not to speak at times. However, more often my struggle is, whether I am listening.

A few weeks ago, I was struggling through an issue before me. I felt overwhelmed by the issue and I struggled with my thoughts and my emotions. I was with my two boys and I decided that we needed a walk to the playground. The boys jumped up into the stroller and we were off. I say we were off but, sadly, I was not there. I was there physically pushing the stroller, but I was alone with my thoughts and in prayer.

As we turned the corner, I started to hear a tune. It started softly as if in the background but then it emerged with great volume. The words to the tune started coming to my mind.

What a friend we have in Jesus

All our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer!

I then remembered the words to the second verse:

Are we weak and heavy-laden,

Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge—

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

The tune kept on and the words of that last line grew stronger and stronger. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Take it to the Lord in prayer. TAKE IT TO THE LORD IN PRAYER.

It is then that I began to cry. I cried because of God’s voice. I cried because of His message. “Give it to me Deryk, I will take care of it. Take it to me in prayer.” And I cried because this beautiful hymn, this powerful message from God, was being hummed by my oldest, Sam. He sat there quietly and just hummed away, not knowing that God was using him to bless his Dad.

“Sam,” I said, “do you know what you are singing?”

“No, Daddy.”

“Well keep humming as I tell you the words of the song.”

I explained to him the hymn and why the words were so precious to me in that moment. Then after a few moments of silence I spoke up again, “Sammy.”

“Yes Daddy.”

“Daddy loves you.”

Isn’t it great to know that our Daddy loves us even more than I love my boys. He wants to speak to us and share His love with us. He wants to be with us in the hard times and the good times. He wants to remind us that we can take all of our struggles and give them to Him in prayer.

Yes, He still speaks. And He does it in such wonderful ways.

Building a Sandbox

2010-08-06T08:43:00.004-04:00

The anticipation and excitement began after supper. Sam and I headed to the “Boom Boom” store-Home Depot. There we picked up the supplies to build a sandbox. I do not know who had more fun at this point. Sam was telling me what he would do in the sandbox and thought the best thing to do was to start building right when we got home. After some firm convincing, Sam went to bed with dreams of the new sandbox in his head. The following morning the construction began. Sam was more than ready. I had both boys with me, or maybe on top of me, as they wanted in on the action. I used a shovel to dig the trenches, while Sam tried to convince me his plastic excavator would do a better job. Eli, wanting to do his part, was right there in the center of the action. I have learned the skill of pounding a few times with the hammer and then stopping midswing.

I suppose it would have been easier and a lot faster to build it by myself. There would have been no distractions, no “get away from that,” and no bruised fingers from the hammer. But, I would have missed out on a wonderful opportunity. So there was Sam holding the end of the tape measure and taking his turn with the level. We did it together, just the way I was taught to do it by my Dad.

Side note: Dad, I am grateful for the time together when I was little on these sort of projects. I learned more than skills. Oh, and by the way, Sam is beginning to learn all the uses of duct tape. You taught me well.

As I watched the boys enjoy the sandbox, I pondered the question, “How do you build a church?” I can show someone how to build a sandbox, but how about a church. I have so many books and magazine articles that give differing opinions. Many of them give great wisdom and practical insight, but not all of them ask the question that I think is most important: “How did Jesus build the church?”

Well, how did Jesus build the church? Surprise, surprise, he didn’t do it by programs. He didn’t insist on having this ministry or that ministry. He didn’t concentrate on a certain age group. He didn’t even put all of his focus on preaching to large crowds.

Where Jesus did spend most of his time was with His disciples. He poured His life out to them. He lived life with them and along the way He showed them how to deepen their relationship with the Father and with each other. He taught them about who they were in the eyes of their Father. He then showed them that who they are flows into what they do. (Notice how we have twisted it, in our culture.) Jesus didn’t put all of his time with the large crowds. Rather, he shared his life with His small group of disciples.

In many ways, building a sandbox with my boys is an example of what He did. Jesus could have built the church by himself. Instead, He chose to use others. He chose the more time consuming way of relationship building. He thought the time spent on the sandbox was vital.

So, how do we build the church. It seems to me, we need to focus on relationships that are intentional about going deeper with Jesus and going deeper with others who are both inside the church and outside of it. Programs will not build the church, spending time in relationships will.

Yes, it is important to do things in the large group. Yes, Jesus did preach to thousands. Jesus didn’t shy away from those things. However, Jesus ministry was much more than that. He thought it was good to spend time with the woman at the well. He spent the night with Nicodemus. He left the crowds to go to the home of Jairus so that He could heal his daughter.

I want to build the church. We all want to build the church. Let’s do it the way Jesus did it. One on one. Building deep relationships around the sandbox.

Hey Liam, Sam wants you to come over and play.

Seeing Jesus

2010-04-20T16:33:00.002-04:00

On Sunday, April 18, we sang that great hymn, “Crown Him with Many Crowns.” I can even now hear the shriek of the nuns in the movie Sister Act. But that is not what I am writing about. I was caught up in the words of the third verse as we sang them.

Crown Him the Lord of love; behold His hands and side,

Rich wounds, yet visible above, in beauty glorified;

No angels in the sky can fully bear that sight,

But downward bend their burning eyes at mysteries so bright.

I was reminded that the angels cannot look on the glory of the Lord. We are told in Isaiah 6:2 that the seraphim, whose job is to worship God all day and all night, were created with six wings. Two wings are used for flying, two are used to cover their feet, and two are used to cover their faces. Here are angels without sin, created to worship God, and they cannot “fully bear that sight.” It is too bright. It is too glorious. God’s beauty would destroy them.

And then there is us. We are here on earth and we have sinned. We cannot look on God’s glory right now, but we will when we get to heaven. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” John also writes in 1 John 3:2, “Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see him as He is.” Wow!

We shall see God face to face in heaven. Not a veiled, covered face, but face to face. We shall see Him as He is. We will see what the angels are not allowed to see and long to see. We will see our Father. We will see the Trinity and finally understand. We will see Jesus—not the Jesus they saw in Jerusalem, but the full glory Jesus whom even His friends bowed down to at the Transfiguration.

I remember going to the Grand Canyon. I remember getting to the clearing and looking out. I stopped and I stared. It was so much more than I had ever imagined. I could not take it all in. It was so mesmerizing. I was overwhelmed with its beauty. So I cannot help but wonder what it will be like to see Jesus. Will I ever stop staring? Will I fall on my face like John when he saw Jesus in heaven (Revelation 1:17)? Will I embrace Him? Will I be able to speak? I know I won’t want to leave, and the great thing is that I will not have to. I will be able to take Jesus in. I will be able to behold His hands and side. I will see love. I will see joy. I will see glory. I will see the most beautiful thing in all of heaven and earth. Richard Baxter (Our dog Baxter’s namesake from the 1600s) put it this way: “When perfect created love and most perfect uncreated love meet together, oh the blessed meeting!”

Oh the blessed meeting! I know why Paul says to the Philippians in 1:21,23, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain…my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.” I know why he wanted to depart. He wanted to be with Jesus. He wanted to see Him. He wanted to be embraced by Him and see Him face to face. I want to see Him too. I want to look deeply into His eyes.

I wear contacts, and even with the contacts, I do not see as well as I would like. But in heaven I will have new eyes—eyes that are perfect and without sin. I will have new eyes that will be able to take it all in. I will be able to see the layers and brightness of His glory. I will be able to see Him and understand so much more. It will be perfect and I will never want to leave.

I can’t wait. And just think, I have not even gotten around to thinking what it will be like to be fully known and fully loved.

Holy Dissatisfaction

2010-04-09T09:16:00.002-04:00

I’m not satisfied. I’m not content. I want more. I need more. I’m not satisfied with a lot of things. I’m not satisfied with my weight. I’m not content with my cardiovascular condition. I know I can be a better husband and father. I wish I wasn’t so enthralled by cookies. I want more time to write a blog. There are projects to do around the house. I’m not content with a lot of things in my life. But, that is not what I’m writing about now.

I’m not satisfied because I want more of Jesus in my life. I’m not content with where I am. I know there is so much more that I can have of Jesus. I wish my prayer time was deeper. I want to recognize Him more in my life. I need Him to do more transforming work in my life. Elizabeth Prentiss shares my longing, “More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee!”

Paul wrote in Philippians 3:8, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” I read this and I realize how far I have to go. I want more of You, Jesus. I know there is more. Paul had more and I am envious.

Jesus, I want more of You. You ask me to abide in You as You abide in me. Will you let me draw closer to You, Jesus? I desire more of Your intimacy. I need more of You in my life. I want to be like Mary Magdalene at Your resurrection and cling to You. I want to run off in glee and tell others about You. I want to live a life where others see that I am intoxicated with You. Not in a superficial almost fake way but in a deep way where they notice something completely different about me-where they then look at my life and will want the same. They will want You, Jesus, as well.

Jesus, I need You. I yearn to be that person who delights in prayer, who is a spiritual prayer warrior. I want to see more of you when I read your Word. I want more of You in me as I try to be a better dad and husband. I want Christy and the boys to see You in my life.

Jesus, I’m not content, and yet I realize that the problem is not on Your end but on my end. I write these words of deep desire, and I know that I am going to struggle to have this same passion during the day. Why is this so hard? Why do I lose sight of You? How often do I look at my own wants and forget the gift of Your presence to fill those wants. Lord, I recognize I fall into the trap of the self-focused, selfish, it’s-all-about-me life. Then when You give me those good gifts, I am apt to fall in love with the gifts instead of the Giver. I’ve had enough.

Jesus, change me. Please do in me what I cannot do. I want to do it, but I know if it was up to me I would fail. Jesus, I feel like an addict when I am writing this. No, I am. A sin addict. I keep coming again and again and wanting this time for it to really stick. Why can’t I live on the mountaintop or at least the hills? Why do I keep going down into the valleys?

Jesus, I want You. I need You. Just as John the Baptist said, “He must increase, I must decrease.” So Lord, I pray the prayer of David in Psalm 43:

Send out your light and your truth; 
let them lead me;
 let them bring me to your holy hill 
and to your dwelling!
Then I will go to the altar of God,
 to God my exceeding joy, 
and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.

God, You are my exceeding joy. Bring me to You. Lead me to You. And help me to embrace You even more. I want to be satisfied. I want to be content. More of You, Jesus. Please, more of you!

The image above is of Christ and St. Bernard by Francisco Ribalta, early 17th century.

It's Not About Me

2010-03-04T15:31:00.000-05:00

I remember the conversation well. Linda Jackson called to tell me that they were in the midst of repainting the sign at the church. She then asked how I wanted my name displayed on the sign. I was thinking lime green neon. “Do you want your middle initial?”

“Actually, Linda, I do not want my name on the sign at all. Please leave it blank.”

My reasoning was and still is simple. I am just one of the many pastors at this church. I am privileged to be one of the team. Yes, I have a specific role at the church, but that role can be seen only in the context of a community. Not only am I one of the pastors, I am just one of the many priests that are roaming the halls of the church. Peter wrote about all of God’s people in 1 Peter 2:9, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” All of us function as God’s priests. So how do we fit all of the worthy names on the sign?

Paul provided us with a wonderful image of the church in 1 Corinthians 12. We are Christ’s body. We are one body formed together by God. Paul wrote in verse 18, “But now God has placed the members, each of them, in the body, just as He desired.” God has made us the body and He has gifted all of us so that we can be part of the body. Left alone we cannot function. We are always meant to live and move and breathe as one body.

All of this leads me to this Sunday. On Sunday, March 7, I will have the opportunity to present myself to God and once again give myself to Him to be used for His glory. I am excited and honored for this opportunity. I am looking forward to every part of the service.

This installation service, however, is not about me. It’s about us. This is an opportunity for all of us to come together and present ourselves to God for His service. We are entering into a new ministry together at First Church. This is our chance to be blessed by God. This is our chance to rededicate our lives and give ourselves to God’s mission.

I can’t wait for Sunday! This is a wonderful opportunity to bring ourselves before God to be used by Him.

It’s not about me. It’s about us. Actually, it’s not really about us either, it’s about Him—but that’s another post.

See you Sunday.

Aware

2010-03-01T12:21:00.000-05:00

As I look out the window this morning, I realize a new day is beginning. The sky is starting to brighten up. Lights are turning on across the street. The school bus is about to go by. I am sure couples are having conversations about the hopes of the day.

Everything seems like a normal day. It seems to me that there is nothing divine going on. Yet it can’t be. In an ordinary day, there is always something extraordinary going on. Why? Because God is at work. Because He is always at work, He is working today. He is doing the work of healing, of reconciliation, of transformation.

Yet, I admit, I sometimes have a hard time seeing the extraordinary because my eyes are so often focused on the ordinary. Then the extraordinary gets lost in the background. Since I see God working in my life, I know He is working in that way. But I still wonder if He is working next door. Is He pursuing someone with His mercy down the street? He must be. I know He is working, but I wish I could see it more clearly. I wish He would make me more aware of it.

Suddenly, it hits me. If I am unable to see God at work here in my neighborhood, will I also miss His Kingdom work during my day as well? Will I miss those divine appointments that God has for me throughout the day? Will I walk by that person who is hurting and in need of love or that person who God has placed in my path whom God wants me to meet? Will I walk right by and be unaware? Oh, Lord, I don’t want to miss that person. Help me to be aware. Help me to be aware like your Son Jesus was in Mark 5:21-43.

Mark tells us about Jesus’ willingness to go to the home of Jairus, a synagogue leader. They were going there to heal his daughter. As they headed toward Jairus’ home, a large crowd followed them. Among the many people who pressed up against Jesus to hear what He was saying was a woman who had had a hemorrhage for twelve years. She had tried every doctor and every medicine. Absolutely nothing had worked. None of that mattered any more. After she had heard about Jesus, she believed that He could heal her! Her faith was so strong. She believed that all she had to do was to touch the hem of His cloak, and she would be healed. Then she got close enough to Jesus and did it!

My immediate question upon reading this text is, why did she touch his garment? Why didn’t she just ask Jesus to heal her? Why this “touch the cloak and run” mentality? I sense that she was reluctant to ask Jesus because she had been let down so many times. I think she believed what the people had told her: “Your suffering is a sign of God’s punishment. You are a sinner. God does not want you.” She had been told again and again that she was unclean and no good in God’s eyes. I believe she was a broken woman who was scared to be rejected once again.

Jesus immediately became aware that some healing power had gone out from Him. He stopped abruptly. He asked who had touched His clothes. Frightened and fearful, the woman came and fell down before Jesus. She confessed what she had done. Instead of condemning her, Jesus offered her healing! Jesus said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction” (Mark 5:34). One brief encounter with Jesus, and she walked away a very different woman.

I think I know what Jairus was thinking as he watched this exchange between Jesus and this woman. Jairus was probably thinking only about his own situation—about his own daughter. I think he probably was trying to move Jesus along. This woman was getting in the way of what he needed. “C’mon Jesus, remember my daughter!” Shamefully, I admit I can relate. I do not have children who are sick, but I do recognize that sometimes I am quick to think first of my needs—of my family’s needs—before the needs of others. Maybe this is the reason why I can be unaware.

I had a conversation the other day with a friend. Right in the middle of the conversation, I heard a pause. I immediately knew what it was. My friend was receiving another call. Then she abruptly, at least in my selfish mind, interrupted our conversation and told me that she needed to take that call. How dare she? What about my needs? A couple minutes later, she explained that she knew her neighbor was going to have to put his dog down, and she wanted to offer him comfort and encouragement.

Like Jesus, my friend on the phone was acutely aware of what was going on around her. She noticed the opportunity to speak God’s healing words to someone who needed them. I found out later that she even invited her neighbor over to dinner that night. She was aware.

I also remember discussing this passage with my father-in-law. As we talked, I remember his speaking more about Jesus than about this woman. He noticed that Jesus noticed. Jesus was aware. Jesus sensed what God was doing around Him. Jesus was aware of the needs around Him, and He was aware of God’s power at work in Him. My father-in-law shared with me his same kind of longing to have this awareness in his own life. He wanted to be more aware of where and when God was working around him. He wanted to be able to stop in the midst of the busyness of his days and be aware.

Jesus was aware. My friend was aware—as was my father-in-law. What’s my problem? Why do I sometimes stay focused on the ordinary—on my own needs? Is it because I am always in such a rush? Is it because I do not take the time to be spiritually sensitive? What is it, Lord?

I hate to say it, but I think I might have missed the woman who touched Jesus. That bothers me. That bothers me as I look to another day. I want to be aware. I want to notice that person who is in need of encouraging words. I want to see what God is doing around me. I want to be His conduit for transformation. I want to be aware, Lord Jesus, of You—not just in my life but in all the lives around me. I want to see you, Jesus, at work across the street. I want to be able to take the time to stop and talk to my neighbor—to care about what she cares about. I want to become more and more aware.

Lord, help me to slow down and be aware of your work around me. Open my ears and lead me to the places where You are working. Stop me when I should speak to the person who is next to me. I know this is dangerous to say but, I not only want to see where You are working, but I also want more. I want Your heart as well. I want to be able to empathize. I want to ache with those who are aching. I want to be aware of someone’s deep need of You. I want Your passion. I want to be aware.

Here I go, Lord. I am off into a day that will not be ordinary—but extraordinary!

Oh great! Snow.

2010-02-16T09:26:00.000-05:00

Oh great! Snow. That means I have to leave more time for myself so that I can shovel out. Driving will be worse. I have to find more time to shovel later. I don't need this extra hassle. Snow! Lovely.

As I was going back up to my home, I realized it would be better to let Baxter out now. I decided not to put a leash on him. I thought he would do his duty and run back in. How wrong I was.

Baxter saw the opportunity not to be quick but to play, rejoice and sprint in the snow. He ran back and forth as I got more frustrated. I yelled at Baxter,"I have to go Baxter. I don't have time for this. I have a busy day." I hoped he would understand but he disregarded my pleadings.

I was going out back to pick him up so that I could carry him back into the house. Right before I got there I saw it. One of the most beautiful sights. A cardinal. A deep red male cardinal sitting in a cedar tree surrounded by snow. Suddenly, it was if God opened my eyes to all the beauty around me. God was covering my backyard and this whole area with His glory, with His snow.

Now, I saw the snow coating the holly bush sprinkled with red berries. Now, I saw the snowflakes floating softly in the air gently landing on the ground. Now, I saw what Baxter saw. God's glory revealed all around me. This was not a time to get frustrated. This was a time to rejoice and play with God's gift.

David put it this way in Psalm 19:1, "The heavens are telling the glory of God, and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands." God's glory revealed in the snow. The snow is there for us to have our eyes opened to God's work. It's not frustrating. It's wonderful. It's glorifying.

Snow! Yes!

Skipping Stones at Besor

2010-01-28T21:18:00.000-05:00

I have never been to Besor. They say it is a brook. I don’t know if it is a brook that trickles or one that floods over in the spring. I don’t know if you can leap over it. I don’t even know if you can swim in it. I do know this, though, it is a place where I want to skip stones.

I have always loved to skip stones. I don’t know who taught me to skip stones, but I can always remember doing it as a kid. At times, I have skipped so many stones that I thought my shoulder was going to fall off the next day. Christy and I have had contests under cliffs in Scotland. I don’t know what my personal record is, but to be honest, I don’t care. There is something more about skipping stones than distance between jumps or the number of skips.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Before I go into the reasons why I want to skip stones, I need to tell you about Besor. Besor is a place in the history of Israel, which was made famous by David. The writer of 1 Samuel tells us this story in chapter 30.

David and his men were making their way back from trying to help the Philistines. That’s another story in itself. David helping out the Philistines? Never! Anyway, as they drew close to their village, they saw smoke rising. The village had been destroyed and their wives and children had been captured!

I can’t even begin to imagine the horror and pain they felt. David lost his two wives. Then to make matters worse, his own people turned on him. They blamed David for the loss. In their grief and anger, they wanted to stone him.

Tough times. We all go through tough times, don’t we? Hopefully not as bad as David’s, but we do go through tough times. However, David’s actions provide us guidance. He did not lash out. He did not run and hide. He sought the Lord in prayer. He went to God to find strength, wisdom, and discernment. There is a saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” In David’s case we might say, “When the going gets tough, the tough get godly.” In tough times, David stood tall. He did the right thing. He leaned into God. He became godly.

When the Lord told David to pursue the band of people who had attacked their village, he and his men went off as hard and as fast as they could. Eventually they took a breather at Brook Besor—only to realize that some of the men could not go any further. Can you imagine their exhaustion? They were so worn out that they could not continue to look for their own families. That is running hard. That is exhaustion. Still, because they had to continue their pursuit, David and some of the other men went on.

On their way, they came across an Egyptian who had been left for dead. Amazingly, they stopped and reached out to him. They even nursed him back to health. Here is David and his men in hot pursuit, but they stop and help someone. Amazing! How many of us would have run by muttering to ourselves that we are justifiably in a rush. This is an emergency. Not David. He was acting godly. He acted like the Good Samaritan. He was loving his neighbor who was in need. In David’s struggles, he became aware of God and aware of others. He did not stray from his primary calling. He continued to love God and love his neighbor. His awareness and need of God became stronger. His compassion grew deeper. When the going got tough, David got godly.

God blessed David and his men for their kindness to this man in a remarkable way. The man knew who had attacked their village. He even led David to them. All of their families were safe, and David and his men got back all they had lost.

David then did something unheard of. He spread the wealth captured from the looters. He showed grace. He showed grace even to those men who had stayed behind at the brook. He also sent treasure out to other villages that were in need. God had given grace to David, and he let that grace spill over into the lives of others.

As I said before, I want to go to that brook and skip smooth stones there. There is something special about choosing the stones, isn’t there? It takes time, a catch-your-breath-and-enjoy-life time, a life-giving time. It’s a time to relax and have a conversation with Jesus. I often think that David had had this sort of time when he was choosing the perfect stones to hurl at Goliath. I imagine him deliberate yet peaceful. I could be wrong, but that’s what I picture in my mind. Like David, I want a good stone that has a smooth rub to it and a good weight to it. Such a stone will produce a lot of skips and come nicely, majestically out of my hand as it sails above the water, gently kissing it every few feet.

I want to skip stones with Jesus at the same brook where David was tough and aware of God. The same brook where he was godly. I want to talk to Jesus about this story and, as we skip stones together, I want Him to speak into my life and transform me. I want Him to sit me down at times, say the hard things, and correct me. I want Him to encourage me. I want Him to love me.

I want to skip stones at Besor and be like David. I want to be more aware of God—not only in the peaceful times but, more importantly, in the tough times. I want to be aware of others around me and love them the way Jesus has loved me. I yearn to be like David—not to be so consumed with my own issues but sense the needs of others around me.

I want to throw those smooth stones of loving God and loving others into the brook and watch them skip and spread ripples across the water. For I do not want to live in isolation; I want to make an impact on others around me. I want others to see me and emulate me, not because of who I am, but because of their desire to skip those same stones with Jesus. For some it will be knowing God’s love for the first time. For others it will be to deepen that love. I want those ripples to spread out even further. I want to skip stones in such a way that others see my joy, my passion, my love.

Skipping stones at Besor. A life with Jesus. A life that responds to tough times with godliness. A life of being aware of God and others. Loving Jesus. Loving others. Making ripples. That is how I am choosing to live.

Skipping stones at Besor. Oh, yes, the name, I almost forgot. In Hebrew, Besor means “good news.” Don’t you also want to skip stones in the brook of Good News?