Wheelchair at the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum by Shane Fox |
Brennan
Manning tells the story in his book Abba’s
Child about a handicapped boy and his father. Brennan writes:
One night a friend
asked his handicapped son, “Daniel, when you see Jesus looking at you, what do
you see in His eyes?”
After a pause, the
boy replied, “His eyes are filled with tears, Dad.”
“Why, Dan?”
An even longer
pause. “Because He is sad.”
“And why is He sad?”
Daniel stared at the
floor. When at last he looked up, his eyes glistened with tears. “Because I’m
afraid.”
In
my life, I have noticed that there are many things that keep me from living out
what God desires for my life. I have lived in willful disobedience at times.
Other times I have lived in ignorance at what God wants for me. And I have also
lived in fear.
Fear
is the one that cripples. Fear paralyzes us from moving forward in what God
desires for us. Jesus’ desire is that I walk with Him on the road He chooses.
Sometimes I have stopped dead in my tracks, afraid of what lies ahead.
As
I look at my fear, and I notice that the sources of my fears are the same as for
others. There is the fear of failing, or of being hurt. There are other fears
as well. Some fear that they will not be loved. Others are afraid they might
make the wrong decision.
I
have had all of these fears at one time or another. I find myself wanting to
move forward and embrace His plan for me, but fear gets in the way. It is like
a strap that binds me to a wheelchair. My heart wants to walk and get going ,but
fear keeps knocking me down.
How
do we get free from these fears in our lives? Well, I think the boy figured it
out. The first step out of the wheelchair begins with seeing the fear and
naming it. I have found this to be so freeing. Knowing what it is that is
holding me back helps me to look at it and address it.
After
I see the fear, I then take it to Jesus. With Jesus I learn that He does want
more from me. More importantly, He assures me that we can conquer that fear
together so I can get up out of the chair.
Finally,
I need to get out of that chair and take the first step. I have often found
that when I begin to walk, the fears go away. They don’t hinder as much when I
am walking as when I am sitting in the chair.
Oftentimes,
when I see Jesus looking at me, do you know what I see? I see Jesus cheering me
on. And that often gives me the courage to jump out of the chair and leave it
behind.
Jesus loves me. My job as His servant is to love you. Your response to that love is not my problem. My job is to love you. No matter who you are, where you came from, what you're doing, what you look/smell/sound/feel like, everyday, however I can. God give me the strength. Help me to remember that that is how You love me. <3
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